With the holiday weekend coming up, marking the unofficial start of summer, I can’t think of a better time to share this month’s Femme on Fire, the incredible Ally Hamilton, with you.
Why?
Because I want you to have the best start to summer and feel damn good about yourself…unapologetically.
I think for us women, summer is THE season where society kinda likes to shame us…more than usual might I add.
“Lose weight Now!”
“Drop 10 pounds and Get Bikini Ready!”
“THE Bikini Workout You MUST Do Before You Head to the Beach!”
As the summer approaches, messages of these kind are everywhere, gently or not so gently reminding of us our “not-enoughness.” (Which is totally NOT true, BTW.)
I don’t think they are really about health, feeling good, or taking care of our beautiful body temple.
Rather, they are centered around fast, unsustainable weight-loss and reaching towards some ideal body that we may never have….or will literally have to kill our spirit trying to get. Do you really have to suffer through a workout you hate to be beach worthy?
In all the work and programs I have created, I have tried to be extremely mindful to feed a loving voice for women about their bodies and health and encouraged them to do the same for themselves.
Because there is a HUGE difference between detoxing the body and/or eating nourishing foods out of a place of deep love, care, and respect for your body vs. “eat this and get skinny.”
There is a huge difference between moving your body in a way that feels loving, challenging, and pleasurable, moving the body because “she” was built for movement and is healthier, happier when she gets to move VS. “I have to suffer through this workout because I need to get a tight ass, flat abs, etc…and my fat-self needs to workout more.”
When you look at those magazine covers, go on that diet, do another workout that feels like torture, you really need to ask yourself, “What voice am I feeding? A loving, compassionate one or one that is unloving?”
The first person who ever made me think about that was my yoga teacher and friend of 7 years now, Ally Hamilton.
I adore this woman and thank her for being one the first people to really help give me my sanity back in regards to my body image.
Yoga and Ally came into my life at just the right time…and began to help me save myself quite literally from that horrific voice I fed daily.
I used to be quite the gym junkie. 2 hours a day, 5 days a week. I would stare at the treadmill calorie counter and let it, and the scale, measure my worth. Depending on how many calories I burned, I would feel like a hero or loser. Or I would do some workout plan I hated but promised results.
It was all about the numbers…on the scale, on the calorie counter, on whatever “counting” food program I was doing.
I was addicted to all that. And BTW, it never got me the results I craved anyhow.
Until one day, I kinda had enough…and that’s where I met my yoga mat.
No calorie counter on that guy. Just me, my body, and a safe space to witness what was going on inside of me.
Thank goodness I also had the good fortune to walk into Ally’s class in Santa Monica back when she was at Power Yoga. I knew straight away that I had found my teacher…..my soul just kind of lit up. Little did I know at the time that she would also become one of my closest, dearest friends.
Yoga with Ally helped me rewire the way I spoke to myself, to actually enjoy my body in movement again, which then allowed me to try different kinds of movement again, this time from a place of love, respect, and curiosity. It was the start of me craving to move my body because it fed my soul, no longer feeding the “no pain, no gain” mentality.
This is exactly why I wanted to give you the gift of Ally in this interview. The woman moves you from the inside out.
Not only is she an incredibly gifted and world-renowned yoga teacher, but she is an amazing writer, mom of 2 beautiful kids, and co-owner of the most loving, kick-ass yoga studio in town, Yogis Anonymous. Most importantly, she is a beautiful human being who really loves people….really, truly.
It’s kinda hard to not love Ally and love yourself a bit more after reading her interview.
This is a juicy, heartfelt interview, so do yourself a favor.
Sit down and savor this one…maybe even while you are beachside and owning your enoughness.
( I know you like to read goodies on your iPhone.)
Like a fine wine or some incredible dark chocolate, this interview is best enjoyed when you let it linger and you really taste every bite.
Without further ado, I give you this soul-stirring interview with Ally Hamilton.
(AA) What first drew you to yoga?
(AH) I was looking for something that would challenge me and fulfill me in some of the same ways ballet had for the twelve years (4-16 years old) I was dancing, but I was also looking for a different kind of environment.
(AA) When you were dancing, what was the conversation you had internally around your body and food at that time? How did yoga shift that for you?
(AH) When I hit puberty, there was a lot of conversation about “not wanting to develop”, and there was certainly pressure to be thin. I remember starting to watch my body in a different way, with some anxiety. I think I started restricting calories when I was 14, and that continued in some way or another until I started doing yoga when I was twenty.
Prior to that, I was either dieting, or on the verge of being too thin. When I started doing yoga, my relationship to myself began to change. It wasn’t overnight, but after I’d been practicing six days a week for about a year, I started to realize my inner voice was not kind. There are some ballet teachers who are wonderful, I studied with a few beautiful human beings. But I also studied with teachers who used shame as a teaching tool, and I took on that tone with myself. I think you have to be prone to that kind of conversation to begin with, and I just happened to have the kind of personality that took that stuff to heart. I was incredibly hard on myself. So I found the yoga room to be a fascinating place, because it wasn’t about shame, it was about love and compassion.
And the more I began to treat myself with some kindness, the less I was interested or concerned with calories. I started to tune into my body in ways I hadn’t before, and to eat in response to my hunger. Eventually, I started to become more conscious about the quality of food I was consuming as well. I’d spent my teenage years drinking diet coke and eating processed food. A few years into my practice, I went the vegan route, eating organic, whole foods, and I really didn’t focus on my weight anymore. My body naturally found its happy place. I don’t own a scale, and don’t want one in my house, especially because I’m raising a little girl. Although boys suffer from eating disorders, too.
(AA) That’s really powerful, Ally. I know that yoga had a dramatic effect on how I began to shift that inner conversation for myself. Why do you think yoga can have such a powerful effect on the body-food relationship?
(AH) I think if you practice yoga consistently, it really does change the way you tune in to your body. You may be breathing consciously for the first time in your life. And if you’re practicing with a teacher who recognizes her or his job is to create an environment where healing is likely to occur, it really becomes challenging to keep feeding a shaming voice.
I think yoga puts lots of things in perspective: the insane and loud busy-ness of the mind, the quality of the relationship we’re having with ourselves, the state of mind we’re bringing to whatever it is we’re doing, and a connection to something greater than ourselves (even if the “something greater” for someone is simply joining in the group energy of a class).
I think all of these things follow us out the door eventually.
I remember driving one day, not too many months after I’d been practicing yoga, and I took a left when I should have taken a right. And I thought, “I’m such an idiot!!! I have zero sense of direction. I suck!!!” And I suddenly realized I wasn’t breathing and my shoulders were up around my ears and I felt like crying. And it hit me that I was that mean to myself all day long, and that I didn’t want to keep living like that. SO it naturally begins to influence all areas of self-care. How we’re speaking to ourselves. How we’re feeding ourselves. How much rest we’re getting. The quality of the conversations we’re having with other people. Whether our inner world is violent or peaceful. It’s all connected.
(AA) I’d love to shift a little bit and talk about how you grew your business, because not only are you an incredible teacher and human being, but there is no doubt that you are a heart-centered and highly successful business owner. I know so many women who feel stuck when it comes to going after their passions.
What can share with women who want to go after that often less conventional career path? What gave you the push to take those risks, including opening up your own studio?
(AH) Well, circumstances gave me the push, and I think that’s often the case in life. Everything is in a constant state of flux, and a situation that may have been amazing at one time, may not be as time goes on.
That can happen in work scenarios, in romance, in friendship. So sometimes you’re completely not ready for a change, but life doesn’t care. You have to get ready. I’ve had to work my a$$ off for anything I’ve ever wanted in life, and for whatever reason, I have no problem with hard work. If there’s something in my heart that feels like a yes, I’m going for it with everything I’ve got. It may not happen, but I’m not leaving anything in the tank.
For me, yoga transformed my life. I went from being a not very happy person to an incredibly happy person, and it’s not because life is perfect. It’s because I have this amazing foundation that I would never have had if I didn’t wander into a yoga room one day. I’m sure of that. So I feel if it worked for me, it can really work for anyone, and I’m passionate about sharing this practice. I think there are still people who are confused about what yoga is.
In some places in the country, people think it’s a cult. In others, they think it’s about having a flexible body. In others about balancing on your hands. It’s really about balancing in your mind no matter what you’re facing. Balancing on your hands is totally fun, and it requires discipline and determination. But balancing in your life is a game-changer.
So anyway, when I realized I was going to have to open my own place (with my business partner, who happens to be my ex-husband and the father of our two amazing kids), I got excited. Because I realized I’d get to co-create the environment for teachers and practitioners to throw down the love. And what could be better than that?
I really think whatever feels like a “yes” for you is your gift, and if you want to be at peace and you want to be happy, you’re going to have to uncover your gifts and give them away. That’s the joy in life. Owning a business is challenging in ways i never would have imagined. It tests you in every single way. But if you believe in your heart you’re offering something of value to people, there’s nothing more fulfilling. And I think if you’re giving something from your heart, people can feel that, and they want to be part of it. We all want connection, and to feel like we are being seen and heard and supported.
(AA) You are a busy mother of 2 adorable kids and also running a full-time business…and you are fully hands on with both. What can share with other moms about how you handle and do such a great job with both?
(AH) Just forget about sleeping. I mean, I’m kidding, but not completely. Being a mom is the greatest gift in my life, and I really am so grateful every single day. I do my best to work my teaching schedule around my kids’ schedule, so that I get to be with them most of the time. Because I don’t know of anything more fulfilling or important than being there for your children. And I feel incredibly fortunate to have that kind of love in my life, and also to feel so excited about my work life. I love teaching. Running a studio is a full-time, in your face, how-many-balls-can-you-juggle-in-the-air-at-once kind of proposition, but thankfully I have a great friendship with my ex, and he’s an excellent business partner to have. Somehow or another, we get it done every day. I think the bottom line is love. If you love what you’re doing, you’ll find the energy and you’ll find a way.
(AA) I know what an amazing place Yogis Anonymous (YA) is, but what can you share with those who don’t know about your studio? How can we access you guys, whether we are in Santa Monica or on the other side of the globe?
(AH) Well, I really feel like the studio is like my living room. I want everyone to feel welcomed and warm, and like they’re in a safe space, because they are. It’s a genuine community, and if you come regularly enough, people will yell, “Norm!” when you walk in the door. Or whatever your name is. And we stream classes live every week, so we do have a global yoga community as well. We have people practicing with us from all over the world, and it’s really fun. I get emails from people in Hong Kong and Thailand and Holland and Burbank. Sometimes people who’ve been streaming classes from the other side of the world come to Santa Monica to practice in person. I don’t know who gets more excited about that, us or them. But it’s a hug-fest. People can check it out at : http://www.yogisanonymous.com, and any of your peeps can have a 10-day free trail if the use the coupon “ally10”, just cancel before the 10nth day if you don’t want to continue!
(AA) That’s so awesome, Ally…thanks for hooking us up! Now, I know YA is all about building community. Why do you think having a special, home studio to practice at is important?
(AH) I think it’s really important to find a teacher or teachers and a studio that resonates with you. Because ideally, you’re working on your relationship with yourself, and that usually involves some healing. It’s very hard to do that if you don’t feel safe and comfortable, and like you’re in good hands. And I also think community is so important. Having friends who support you on your way. Because this business of being human is not always easy. Sometimes a hug or a touch on the arm can trun your whole day around. As far as your physical practice, it’s good to be working with the same teacher(s) for awhile, so they can see if you have any habits that could create wear and tear on the body, so they get to know your personal practice, and so they can help you deepen and grow.
(AA) For the first time yogi who might be afraid to come on in for their first class or tune in on-line and doesn’t know what to expect, what would you say to her/him?
(AH) Make it about breathing deeply and consciously. Put your knees down and rest whenever you need to. Feed a loving voice.
(AA) You have quite a following for your almost daily blogs (me included). What inspires your writing? Where can folks get their hands on these lovely writings?
(AH) It really depends on the day. Sometimes something happens in my own life, and I think it’s an issue that’s universal. Sometimes I receive an email from someone going through something I think lots of people can relate to, or might be struggling with. Sometimes it’s something someone says or does. I blog on the Yogis Anonymous fan page on Facebook, and also at blog.yogisanonymous.com
(AA) What makes a woman beautiful?
(AH) Knowing and loving herself. Boom.
(AA) Amen! One last question…What makes you smile?
(AH) My kids. The amazing people like you who practice with me. The teachers at our studio. Our puppy. Watching someone get lit up by yoga. Love. All that makes me smile.
(AA) Ally, this was truly amazing. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for taking time to share your love of yoga and being such a beautiful example of what it means to live life as an embodied woman. I adore you and love you so much!
Now we want to hear from YOU…
In the comments below, tell us…
How did this interview inspire you to feed your most loving voice? If you practice yoga, have you noticed a shift in how your internal dialogue has changed since starting to practice?
And before you go get your sunshine, Beautiful, check out Ally’s incredible Ted Talk right here…more warmth for your soul.
Love you,
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