Food Fright: How I Used to Struggle Around Food (And How to Break Free)

Tell me…
Did you have a good Halloween?

Do something fun, silly, or kinda scary?

I hope so. While I didn’t do much last night, I did take a walk around the neighborhood with Mike after our yummy home-cooked dinner to see all the cute little ones dressed up.

(I got to dress-up the weekend before for a costume party. Michael Jackson lives again! Check the pic!)

After that, we almost watched some horror films, but I have a low tolerance
for fright, so I choose to go to bed instead.

But yesterday I couldn’t help but think of something truly scary, a real horror story, that happened to me just a few years back (and would quite honestly would happen to me lots of times.)
This is actually really hard for me to talk about but you need to know this…

A few years ago, I remember I had just finished another round of the Master Cleanse aka the MC (you know, the lemon, water,maple syrup, and cayenne pepper liquid detox that means no eating for 10 days straight).

And it was Halloween night…I had a few parties to hit up and of course, I
was totally dressed up and ready to enjoy one of my favorite days of the year.

But at the same time, I kept scaring myself…around food.

Before I even got to any of the parties, I was already having an inner
debate and struggle about what I would let myself eat that night…

Would I allow myself to have any desserts? Candy? Drinks?

And if I did, how much and what would that say about me if I let myself
have something “bad” after “detoxing” (translation= STARVING MYSELF)
for 10 days straight? The dialogue was kinda like this:

“Anita. You don’t want to blow it and eat any treats tonight. Look how disciplined you were doing your lemonade detox for 10 days. You’ll get fat if you do it.”

So I resolved that I would just have one treat and “be a good girl” again the
next day, perhaps going back on the MC the following day.

At the first party of the night, my friend who is an amazing baker made
some incredible baked goods. They were even on the healthier tip…
Gluten-free, vegan options. I ate one and then took home a bag of them that
I promised myself I would save for later and enjoy over time.

But…when I got in my car after the last party of the night, I felt like
those cookies and brownies were calling to me.

And another voice came through…this one said:

“Anita, you already screwed up earlier tonight when you had that cookie.
You already gave in.
Might as well eat all of them NOW and then tomorrow
you’ll make up for it and go back on the MC for another week.”

So guess what I did…I started eating them on the drive home. I
finished them when I got home, stuffing them in my mouth as fast as
I could while standing in my kitchen at 3 am.

I don’t think I even let myself really taste them or enjoyed them.
There was too much shame, guilt, and sadness going on.

And another voice came in, saying:

“Look at you. What a pig. You have no willpower. You better fix this
tomorrow…you don’t want to get fat again, do you?”

While I never was a bulimic (I hated the thought of throwing up), I did
indeed “make up” for it in other ways. I went back on the MC for a few
more days and exercised the hell out of my body.

No one knew about my secret pain because at this point in my life,
I had lost quite a bit of weight. But these were old habits that I had
been doing for years and they were hard to let go of.

And while I was no longer dieting on a day-to-day basis,
I would have these bouts of extremes around food because even
with all the BEST NUTRITIONAL INFORMATION, I had not
truly looked under the hood and bravely unraveled at the deepest level my relationship with food and my body.

I was still scared to truly trust my body and food and to see them
both as my beautiful friends during this journey we call LIFE.

Snapshot to this year: At the party I went to on Saturday, they had
these awesome chocolate cupcakes from this amazing gluten-free/vegan
spot called Babycakes, one of my all time faves.

Of course I grabbed one! I took one delicious bite,
savoring the rich flavor, with no guilt. That one bite was perfect, it felt like enough…so I took the rest of it home and have been enjoying a little bit of it at a time this week.

(But if I wanted to have the whole thing that night or not have any at all, that would be ok too.
I don’t trash my body these days with that crazy talk or “all or nothing” approach to food. And because I get my pleasure in so many other ways, sugary treats don’t have the same hold on me as they used to.)

Which version of me do you think is getting/got more out of life? Which one
do you think is more of a magnet for all I want?

Which one is having more fun?
The woman who has her worth wrapped up in her weight, never feels like she is enough,picks her body apart, and is terrified that she doesn’t know how to be around food

OR…

the woman who trusts her body, sees food as both nourishment
& pleasure, is living her truth, deeply loves herself, and as a result, no longer struggles with her weight?

Am I “perfect” now, no worries or flaws? Hell no…but my life is so much more free,
open, and happier than it used to be. And I am having a ball!

Do you see yourself in my old horror story? Can you relate?

If you are saying, “yes I do” then let me assure that if I could find my way out
of that way of living, so can you. I want to be your guide.

This is why I am opening up 10 spots for a free “Find Your Body Freedom Discovery Session”.
(Normally, these sessions are $97.)

In this free, 45-minute private coaching call, you’ll:

-Discover exactly where you get stuck around food and your body, what challenges block you, and how to get past them once and for all.

-Uncover the possibility for a new, loving, and liberating relationship with food and your body so you can live in a place of total freedom (no more “all or nothing” thinking, fear of food, and weight-hate!)

-Develop a plan of action for reaching your goals WITHOUT deprivation, workouts you hate, or struggle…time to kiss self-hate goodbye for good!

-Come away knowing that having ease and pleasure with food and your body and creating lasting results is not some kind of pipe dream, but totally possible and within your reach NOW, no matter how many times you may have struggled in the past.

This is all waiting for you and I want to help you get to where you want to go…but you need to take the first step.

Want to be one of the lucky 10? Here’s what to do:

Simply email me at Anita@AnitaAvalos.com and let me know you are IN and want one of these 10 free spots.

That’s it. The first ten people to say “yes” will get a confirmation email from me and I will give you all the details on how to set up your session. Yay! 😉

Don’t wait or stop yourself from getting what you truly want and deserve. You don’t need to waste another day in the struggle alone.

Email me now, let me know you want me to reserve a spot for you, and let’s get moving in a new direction. (Anita@AnitaAvalos.com)

Remember, I only have 10 spots available.

Really, what do you have to lose…except the struggle itself?

I can’t wait to talk with you! Until then, please comment below and let me know:
1) Have you ever struggled around food like I did?
2) What has worked for you in the past?
And then please share with your circle via Facebook, Twitter, or email.
Let’s get this message OUT!

Lots of love,

P.S. I know it can be really hard to take the first step and reach out. Hey, it’s scary for me to be so raw and honest with you. But if we don’t start reaching out, start doing things differently, this crazy cycle will just continue.

If this is calling to you in any way, now is the time to honor that and move out of the struggle and into the truest, most liberated version of you.

Let’s spend some time together and unlock what is possible for you…with your body, food, and most importantly, your LIFE.

And if you know someone who could really use this session, share this post with them or with your community. I’m ready to be of service and believe that life has a beautiful way of connecting the right people together when their hearts are open and they are ready for a shift.

Email me now and let’s talk..or share this post. All my love.