Advocating for Your Needs and Desires- Using the Full Moon in Scorpio to Help Your Hidden Truths Come to Light

Dear One,

Ever feel like there is something you know in your heart you must do to take care of yourself, but even the mere thought of doing it or speaking up about it feels impossible, flooding you with fear and self-doubt? Do you find yourself going through an extensive list of all the people your need would inconvenience, followed by inner conversation with your most self-defeating voices reminding you of just how “selfish” you must be to even consider such a move?

The voices call for you to be a “team-player”, to not “rock the boat”, to not risk embarrassing yourself by putting what you need out there. But another set of voices, from your Soul and Spirit, beckon you to honor the need(s) you have, reminding you that your desires and needs matters.

So many times we give into the side of us who pleads for us to simply play along, play safe, or not get into the game to begin with. It’s better, the voice pleads, to be “good” and make the other party comfortable. (Note: I think this especially true for women, who are groomed from cradle to grave to believe that being a ‘good, likeable girl” who doesn’t argue or make waves is the most important quality to have.)

But what is the consequence of giving into the cruel voice inside, to society at large, or to a boss or partner who is unwilling to hear your deepest needs or urgent desire?

Quite simply, a part of you withers away. In that moment, a little lie is told. Your Spirit feels a wounding, your Soul tries to speak but feels silenced, and your Heart sinks in disappointment and resignation.

And over time, with each little lie, your life loses its sparkle. The path forward gets murky. Passion shifts into a general sense of unease. Your Spirit takes a beating, and your soul, using the vehicle that is your Body, desperately tries to get your attention and get you back on track to your truth. Your Body, the Wise Companion that he or she is, begins to speak louder and louder through symptoms. You then have the choice to head the call or give the Body Companion no choice but to sound the alarm louder and louder until you do.

For the other party, its no skin off their back- you didn’t rock the boat and business can continue as usual. However, ultimately there’s a huge price you pay- Body, Mind, Spirit, and Soul.

But what might happen if you actually DID advocate for yourself? Would the world fall apart if you owned your truestet needs and desires as essential?

Sure, you might piss off a few folks. You might even lose a few of them as friends or allies, or as your lover. The difficult truth is a big relationship could fall apart.

But here’s what “they” fail to tell you about the unexpected consequences of actually following your inner guidance, of advocating for yourself and for your truest desires.

Not only do you now have an opening to get your needs met and take care of yourself in a deep and profound way, but you also just might create an opening for others to do the same. There might be a whole group of people, unbeknownst to you, who have also just been grinning and bearing it simply because they didn’t know or even dare to think that they could ask for something different.

Contrary to what the cruel, critical voice inside of you loves to say, your brave move towards advocating for your needs and desires may have a cascade of unforeseen, positive side effects that benefit not just your life, but the lives of many others.

I was reminded of this often overlooked fact just this past week. To keep a long story short, after my first Covid vaccination shot earlier this month, I experienced sensations of pins and needles, numbness, and tingling in my limbs, a side-effect that was similar to what I experienced after my tetanus vaccine in 2011 and made me a bit fearful to get my Covid vaccine, even though I desperately wanted to. To be clear, yes I am working with a doctor I trust, and I am hopeful that it will clear up ….and yes I am still pro-vax and think it’s the right move for 99% of people.

However, this turn of events is delaying me from getting my second vaccine dose. My doctor and I want to make sure this current set of side-effects clears up and then we can make a decision about when (and if) the second dose is the right thing for my body. Because of my inability to be fully vaccinated just yet, I didn’t feel comfortable returning to the classroom and teaching in person at this time. Luckily for me, my teacher’s union has clearly stated that if a staff member isn’t fully vaccinated yet, they have the right to remain remote until they can be, as long as they have spoken to their administrator and can either explain what the situation is and/or give a timeline as to when they might be able to complete the process. They might also need a doctor’s note explaining more about their situation.

Having just been made aware of this days before I was supposed to return to campus, I knew I was going to have to either take the risk and have an uncomfortable conversation with my administrator, or silently deal with my vaccine side-effects and deep unease about teaching in person without being fully vaccinated.

There I was, just days to make a move and speak up about what I truly felt I needed to do at this time. The fear of speaking up pulsed through me. I felt frozen, powerless.

I was hesitant to advocate for myself. I thought of how I might upset my my boss, how I might upset my coworkers who are coming back to campus and dealing with insanely difficult transition back to in person learning. I thought of the one child that they wanted me to teach in person, and the other 19 who would remain online for now…if I spoke up, how would this effect all of them and they changes they already made to their schedules. I played the worst case scenarios in my head, of my coworkers and my boss thinking I was lying or not a team player. I questioned the consequences, both in terms of work politics and the social ones too. However, I couldn’t ignore the clear messages my Body was sending me. I knew that even though it was just one child in my classroom for now, that could change quickly. In fact, there was a second child who was supposed to be in person with me too, but when she came down with Covid that very week, she moved into the virtual teaching cohort. That hit too close to home. It further confirmed for me that I had to listen to my inner wisdom and advocate for my rights and needs.

Speaking up, getting clearance and documentation from my doctor, and advocating to stay remote at this time was hands down one of the most uncomfortable things I have ever done. Truth be told, at age 43, I am still plagued by the desire to be a “good girl, for everyone to like me, and heaven forbid I piss off someone in an authoritative role.

But I did it. And yes, it was far from easy. I went through every human emotion possible this past week. I’m pretty sure I angered, or at least disappointed, my boss. But then again, it’s not my job to guess or focus on the other. I needed to focus on me.

However, there were unforeseen positive consequences too. The little boy who was supposed to be with me in person got moved to another teacher, and now, instead of being stuck alone with me in a classroom, he is with a group of other kids and is happy. The rest of my class is now in two virtual cohorts with me, an AM and PM; the parents are over the moon that they now have had some say as to what time of day they can have their kid in Zoom school without having to come back in person before they were ready.

And as for me, my nervous system is unwinding. I feel a sense of deep pride that I spoke up, that I did the uncomfortable thing that also was the choice that was best for my mental and physical health. Now, I am in a much better set of circumstances for my body to heal.

Will there be some other consequences I can’t foresee at the moment? You betcha…and probably some I won’t like. But there is no denying that saying the truth and advocating for my needs trumps all of that.

How does this relate to YOU?

Working with and owning your desires and needs is an essential and on going process. I see this time after time in my work with clients, who come to me with a desire to feel lighter in their bodies, to release weight, to step into who they feel they are truly meant to be.

But often the biggest catalyst that allows this to happen doesn’t take place by changing what’s on their plate or working out to “work it off”, but rather it comes from them fully owning and advocating for what they need most, what brings them pleasure, what feels authentic and in alignment. In that advocation, alchemy begins to take place, moving excess emotional weight into free energy that can now be used in creating and calling forth their truest desires. Consequently, a more harmonious, symbiotic relationship with food and movement occurs, with those elements supporting their bodies as vehicles to achieve and live their deepest dreams and desires, as opposed to places of struggle and shame.

As we prepare for the releasing power of the Scorpio Full Moon tonight, April 26th, (8:32 pm PST to be exact), I encourage you to see where you take an honest look at where you need to own and advocate for your needs and desires. What is keeping you up at night? What keeps gnawing away in the pit of your stomach? What wisdom through symptom has your Body been trying to share with you?

You may not be able to tackle each of them today, this week, or in the Full Moon’s light, but can you pick the one you know is the most urgent? That’s the one that you can no longer ignore. That’s the one that is prompting you into heartfelt conversation, facing a difficult truth, or perhaps saying a final goodbye to.

Scorpio asks no less than for us to go the depths and connect with our wise intuition. With this moon’s powerful force, whatever has been hiding or unsaid, whatever desires and needs must be brought to the surface, whatever you have been pushing down, trust that it will be illuminated. The visual that comes to mind is a large rubber ball that gets pushed down in a body of water; you can keep adding force to keep it submerged and under the surface, but once you let go, it will rise. You can’t push it down forever.

It may take a lot of courage, but the cosmos are supporting you in your growth. Yes, something may fall away, but something unexpected and life-affirming may also rise because of it.

So use the moon’s energy this Monday night to help you advocate for what you need most. Trust that your desires, your needs, your deepest truths deserve recognition. From there, healing can begin.

Sending you love and tons of Full Moon healing…and if I can support you more deeply be it in your relationship to food and body and/or as a Spiritual Life Coach, I would be honored. There’s nothing like getting one-on-one support, especially as we stake a claim on that which we desire most.