With the holiday weekend coming up, marking the unofficial start of summer, I can’t think of a better time to share this month’s Femme on Fire, the incredible Ally Hamilton, with you.

Why?

Because I want you to have the best start to summer and feel damn good about yourself…unapologetically.

I think for us women, summer is THE season where society kinda likes to shame us…more than usual might I add.

“Lose weight Now!”
“Drop 10 pounds and Get Bikini Ready!”
“THE Bikini Workout You MUST Do Before You Head to the Beach!”

As the summer approaches, messages of these kind are everywhere, gently or not so gently reminding of us our “not-enoughness.” (Which is totally NOT true, BTW.)

I don’t think they are really about health, feeling good, or taking care of our beautiful body temple.

Rather, they are centered around fast, unsustainable weight-loss and reaching towards some ideal body that we may never have….or will literally have to kill our spirit trying to get. Do you really have to suffer through a workout you hate to be beach worthy?

In all the work and programs I have created, I have tried to be extremely mindful to feed a loving voice for women about their bodies and health and encouraged them to do the same for themselves.

Because there is a HUGE difference between detoxing the body and/or eating nourishing foods out of a place of deep love, care, and respect for your body vs. “eat this and get skinny.”

There is a huge difference between moving your body in a way that feels loving, challenging, and pleasurable, moving the body because “she” was built for movement and is healthier, happier when she gets to move VS. “I have to suffer through this workout because I need to get a tight ass, flat abs, etc…and my fat-self needs to workout more.”

When you look at those magazine covers, go on that diet, do another workout that feels like torture, you really need to ask yourself, “What voice am I feeding? A loving, compassionate one or one that is unloving?”

The first person who ever made me think about that was my yoga teacher and friend of 7 years now, Ally Hamilton.

I adore this woman and thank her for being one the first people to really help give me my sanity back in regards to my body image.

Yoga and Ally came into my life at just the right time…and began to help me save myself quite literally from that horrific voice I fed daily.

I used to be quite the gym junkie. 2 hours a day, 5 days a week. I would stare at the treadmill calorie counter and let it, and the scale, measure my worth. Depending on how many calories I burned, I would feel like a hero or loser. Or I would do some workout plan I hated but promised results.

It was all about the numbers…on the scale, on the calorie counter, on whatever “counting” food program I was doing.

I was addicted to all that. And BTW, it never got me the results I craved anyhow.

Until one day, I kinda had enough…and that’s where I met my yoga mat.

No calorie counter on that guy. Just me, my body, and a safe space to witness what was going on inside of me.

Thank goodness I also had the good fortune to walk into Ally’s class in Santa Monica back when she was at Power Yoga. I knew straight away that I had found my teacher…..my soul just kind of lit up. Little did I know at the time that she would also become one of my closest, dearest friends.

Yoga with Ally helped me rewire the way I spoke to myself, to actually enjoy my body in movement again, which then allowed me to try different kinds of movement again, this time from a place of love, respect, and curiosity. It was the start of me craving to move my body because it fed my soul, no longer feeding the “no pain, no gain” mentality.

This is exactly why I wanted to give you the gift of Ally in this interview. The woman moves you from the inside out.

Not only is she an incredibly gifted and world-renowned yoga teacher, but she is an amazing writer, mom of 2 beautiful kids, and co-owner of the most loving, kick-ass yoga studio in town, Yogis Anonymous. Most importantly, she is a beautiful human being who really loves people….really, truly.

It’s kinda hard to not love Ally and love yourself a bit more after reading her interview.

This is a juicy, heartfelt interview, so do yourself a favor.

Sit down and savor this one…maybe even while you are beachside and owning your enoughness.
( I know you like to read goodies on your iPhone.)

Like a fine wine or some incredible dark chocolate, this interview is best enjoyed when you let it linger and you really taste every bite.

Without further ado, I give you this soul-stirring interview with Ally Hamilton.

(AA) What first drew you to yoga?

(AH) I was looking for something that would challenge me and fulfill me in some of the same ways ballet had for the twelve years (4-16 years old) I was dancing, but I was also looking for a different kind of environment.

(AA) When you were dancing, what was the conversation you had internally around your body and food at that time? How did yoga shift that for you?

(AH) When I hit puberty, there was a lot of conversation about “not wanting to develop”, and there was certainly pressure to be thin. I remember starting to watch my body in a different way, with some anxiety. I think I started restricting calories when I was 14, and that continued in some way or another until I started doing yoga when I was twenty.

Prior to that, I was either dieting, or on the verge of being too thin. When I started doing yoga, my relationship to myself began to change. It wasn’t overnight, but after I’d been practicing six days a week for about a year, I started to realize my inner voice was not kind. There are some ballet teachers who are wonderful, I studied with a few beautiful human beings. But I also studied with teachers who used shame as a teaching tool, and I took on that tone with myself. I think you have to be prone to that kind of conversation to begin with, and I just happened to have the kind of personality that took that stuff to heart. I was incredibly hard on myself. So I found the yoga room to be a fascinating place, because it wasn’t about shame, it was about love and compassion.

And the more I began to treat myself with some kindness, the less I was interested or concerned with calories. I started to tune into my body in ways I hadn’t before, and to eat in response to my hunger. Eventually, I started to become more conscious about the quality of food I was consuming as well. I’d spent my teenage years drinking diet coke and eating processed food. A few years into my practice, I went the vegan route, eating organic, whole foods, and I really didn’t focus on my weight anymore. My body naturally found its happy place. I don’t own a scale, and don’t want one in my house, especially because I’m raising a little girl. Although boys suffer from eating disorders, too.

(AA) That’s really powerful, Ally. I know that yoga had a dramatic effect on how I began to shift that inner conversation for myself. Why do you think yoga can have such a powerful effect on the body-food relationship?

(AH) I think if you practice yoga consistently, it really does change the way you tune in to your body. You may be breathing consciously for the first time in your life. And if you’re practicing with a teacher who recognizes her or his job is to create an environment where healing is likely to occur, it really becomes challenging to keep feeding a shaming voice.

I think yoga puts lots of things in perspective: the insane and loud busy-ness of the mind, the quality of the relationship we’re having with ourselves, the state of mind we’re bringing to whatever it is we’re doing, and a connection to something greater than ourselves (even if the “something greater” for someone is simply joining in the group energy of a class).

I think all of these things follow us out the door eventually.

I remember driving one day, not too many months after I’d been practicing yoga, and I took a left when I should have taken a right. And I thought, “I’m such an idiot!!! I have zero sense of direction. I suck!!!” And I suddenly realized I wasn’t breathing and my shoulders were up around my ears and I felt like crying. And it hit me that I was that mean to myself all day long, and that I didn’t want to keep living like that. SO it naturally begins to influence all areas of self-care. How we’re speaking to ourselves. How we’re feeding ourselves. How much rest we’re getting. The quality of the conversations we’re having with other people. Whether our inner world is violent or peaceful. It’s all connected.

(AA) I’d love to shift a little bit and talk about how you grew your business, because not only are you an incredible teacher and human being, but there is no doubt that you are a heart-centered and highly successful business owner. I know so many women who feel stuck when it comes to going after their passions.

What can share with women who want to go after that often less conventional career path? What gave you the push to take those risks, including opening up your own studio?

(AH) Well, circumstances gave me the push, and I think that’s often the case in life. Everything is in a constant state of flux, and a situation that may have been amazing at one time, may not be as time goes on.

That can happen in work scenarios, in romance, in friendship. So sometimes you’re completely not ready for a change, but life doesn’t care. You have to get ready. I’ve had to work my a$$ off for anything I’ve ever wanted in life, and for whatever reason, I have no problem with hard work. If there’s something in my heart that feels like a yes, I’m going for it with everything I’ve got. It may not happen, but I’m not leaving anything in the tank.

For me, yoga transformed my life. I went from being a not very happy person to an incredibly happy person, and it’s not because life is perfect. It’s because I have this amazing foundation that I would never have had if I didn’t wander into a yoga room one day. I’m sure of that. So I feel if it worked for me, it can really work for anyone, and I’m passionate about sharing this practice. I think there are still people who are confused about what yoga is.

In some places in the country, people think it’s a cult. In others, they think it’s about having a flexible body. In others about balancing on your hands. It’s really about balancing in your mind no matter what you’re facing. Balancing on your hands is totally fun, and it requires discipline and determination. But balancing in your life is a game-changer.

So anyway, when I realized I was going to have to open my own place (with my business partner, who happens to be my ex-husband and the father of our two amazing kids), I got excited. Because I realized I’d get to co-create the environment for teachers and practitioners to throw down the love. And what could be better than that?

I really think whatever feels like a “yes” for you is your gift, and if you want to be at peace and you want to be happy, you’re going to have to uncover your gifts and give them away. That’s the joy in life. Owning a business is challenging in ways i never would have imagined. It tests you in every single way. But if you believe in your heart you’re offering something of value to people, there’s nothing more fulfilling. And I think if you’re giving something from your heart, people can feel that, and they want to be part of it. We all want connection, and to feel like we are being seen and heard and supported.

(AA) You are a busy mother of 2 adorable kids and also running a full-time business…and you are fully hands on with both. What can share with other moms about how you handle and do such a great job with both?

(AH) Just forget about sleeping. I mean, I’m kidding, but not completely. Being a mom is the greatest gift in my life, and I really am so grateful every single day. I do my best to work my teaching schedule around my kids’ schedule, so that I get to be with them most of the time. Because I don’t know of anything more fulfilling or important than being there for your children. And I feel incredibly fortunate to have that kind of love in my life, and also to feel so excited about my work life. I love teaching. Running a studio is a full-time, in your face, how-many-balls-can-you-juggle-in-the-air-at-once kind of proposition, but thankfully I have a great friendship with my ex, and he’s an excellent business partner to have. Somehow or another, we get it done every day. I think the bottom line is love. If you love what you’re doing, you’ll find the energy and you’ll find a way.

(AA) I know what an amazing place Yogis Anonymous (YA) is, but what can you share with those who don’t know about your studio? How can we access you guys, whether we are in Santa Monica or on the other side of the globe?

(AH) Well, I really feel like the studio is like my living room. I want everyone to feel welcomed and warm, and like they’re in a safe space, because they are. It’s a genuine community, and if you come regularly enough, people will yell, “Norm!” when you walk in the door. Or whatever your name is. And we stream classes live every week, so we do have a global yoga community as well. We have people practicing with us from all over the world, and it’s really fun. I get emails from people in Hong Kong and Thailand and Holland and Burbank. Sometimes people who’ve been streaming classes from the other side of the world come to Santa Monica to practice in person. I don’t know who gets more excited about that, us or them. But it’s a hug-fest. People can check it out at : http://www.yogisanonymous.com, and any of your peeps can have a 10-day free trail if the use the coupon “ally10”, just cancel before the 10nth day if you don’t want to continue!

(AA) That’s so awesome, Ally…thanks for hooking us up! Now, I know YA is all about building community. Why do you think having a special, home studio to practice at is important?

(AH) I think it’s really important to find a teacher or teachers and a studio that resonates with you. Because ideally, you’re working on your relationship with yourself, and that usually involves some healing. It’s very hard to do that if you don’t feel safe and comfortable, and like you’re in good hands. And I also think community is so important. Having friends who support you on your way. Because this business of being human is not always easy. Sometimes a hug or a touch on the arm can trun your whole day around. As far as your physical practice, it’s good to be working with the same teacher(s) for awhile, so they can see if you have any habits that could create wear and tear on the body, so they get to know your personal practice, and so they can help you deepen and grow.

(AA) For the first time yogi who might be afraid to come on in for their first class or tune in on-line and doesn’t know what to expect, what would you say to her/him?

(AH) Make it about breathing deeply and consciously. Put your knees down and rest whenever you need to. Feed a loving voice.

(AA) You have quite a following for your almost daily blogs (me included). What inspires your writing? Where can folks get their hands on these lovely writings?

(AH) It really depends on the day. Sometimes something happens in my own life, and I think it’s an issue that’s universal. Sometimes I receive an email from someone going through something I think lots of people can relate to, or might be struggling with. Sometimes it’s something someone says or does. I blog on the Yogis Anonymous fan page on Facebook, and also at blog.yogisanonymous.com

(AA) What makes a woman beautiful?

(AH) Knowing and loving herself. Boom.

(AA) Amen! One last question…What makes you smile?

(AH) My kids. The amazing people like you who practice with me. The teachers at our studio. Our puppy. Watching someone get lit up by yoga. Love. All that makes me smile.

(AA) Ally, this was truly amazing. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for taking time to share your love of yoga and being such a beautiful example of what it means to live life as an embodied woman. I adore you and love you so much!

Now we want to hear from YOU…

In the comments below, tell us…

How did this interview inspire you to feed your most loving voice? If you practice yoga, have you noticed a shift in how your internal dialogue has changed since starting to practice?

And before you go get your sunshine, Beautiful, check out Ally’s incredible Ted Talk right here…more warmth for your soul.

Love you,

With my mentor, founder of IPE, Marc David.

You know those moments in your life that you just want to savor, celebrate, and give some honor to?

Well, I’m having one of those right now, this very weekend.

And truthfully, I don’t think we celebrate our successes as often as we should in life, like raising good-hearted kids, navigating our relationships with our partner with heart and soul, starting a second career when others think you are nuts, or even having the courage to reach out for help when we can’t do something alone.

Lots of moments/events in life, big and small, that are worthy of acknowledgment.

For me, right now, I am having a pretty big one.

I’m here in Boulder, Colorado honoring the completion of my Professional Eating Psychology Coach Certification from the Institute for the Psychology of Eating (IPE). I am so proud to say I am a graduate of a cutting edge field that currently only a few hundred people in the world have studied.

It’s been hours and hours of intense study, reading, journaling, writing, financial sacrifice, and most of all, deep soul searching.

This beautiful body of work has changed my life and the course of my work forever.

You see, I realized pretty early into my health coaching practice that showing people what foods work best for them, how to prepare kale, giving exercise tips, or explaining why natural/organic food and products were so important wasn’t enough.

Because behind the actual food or workout was something much deeper. There was a relationship with food and body that needed to be explored and honored, a journey to go on that explores where is life calling you to. Without that piece, anything I shared with my clients would lead to short term success at best.

Psychology of Eating isn’t just for people who have a “disordered” way of eating. We all have a unique conversation and connection to our bodies and to food happening that can range from being full of loving thoughts and actions to self-hate and self-loathing.

Years ago, I became fascinated with deconstructing how I had created such a horrible relationship to my own body and to food in my childhood, which lead to years of chronic dieting, hating my body, exercising her out of self-loathing and the desire to be “perfect”, and constant internal conversation about how I didn’t measure up….all which lead to more and more weight-gain. Yes, the more I hated and more tried to diet myself into “perfection”, the further I got from my desired result.

I started to realize that I had been using dieting and exercise as a way to stay connected to those I loved, to be accepted, to replace the things I really desired as a woman, to grasp for things I couldn’t even name yet.

I realized that it was only through that look within and changing the internal conversation I was having with myself about myself, my desires, and about food that I was able to really shape-shift everything…my physical form, the foods that I desired, the way I moved my body, the way I saw myself.

This is for me the core reason why diets never work. Knowing how many fat grams are in a slice of pizza will never let you into the secret desires of your heart. Until you know that, food will seem like a great substitute to either binge on and/or feel intense shame about having.

But knowing that for myself wasn’t enough. I wanted to give my clients tools for real change. Again, it’s not to say that nutrition isn’t valuable because it is; it’s a way to give your body love and nourishment. But it’s only a piece of the story.

How you “do food”, how you “do movement” is a reflection of how you are thinking of yourself, of how you do your life.

So through my studies with IPE, I have been able to give my clients those tools, to take them to deeper places, to get in touch with what they really desire (which is so much deeper than chocolate cake), to lose the shame and perfection goals they have and live….free.

Some of my clients have resented me, desiring only to lose weight. They didn’t feel ready to change how they thought about their bodies or food. They were still stuck on a number on the scale. Or they found it easier to say “I’m just a sugar addict. Just get me off sugar and I know I’ll be all good.”

They weren’t ready to let go of the dieting world. They didn’t quite understand that weight isn’t just about calories in/calories out.

I get it. This is hard work; it’s soul-level stuff and it’s counter-culture. We are taught that the goodies are only available when we weigh X amount of pounds or we have the “perfect” way of eating, a “perfect” body, a “perfect” life.

But it’s a lie. Especially perfection. Such a lie.

And when we start to explore this world, our connection and relationship to body and food, and start exploring what we really desire….wow…everything opens up. Brings tears to my eyes.

I feel so blessed to start sharing the truth with women (and yes some men) at a greater level. My heart is bubbling over with ideas for workshops and live events to get us all in a room together to explore this work, breakthrough what’s keeping us stuck and not really living, and come out on the other side really living embodied.

Sometimes I get emails saying, “why are you always talking to women?” Well, my work now really does focus on women because I know how tough it is to be one and also how glorious it is as well. As women, we have a unique relationship to food and body that is different from a man’s and we have been bombarded with masculine strategies on how to “lose weight and get in shape.”

Follow a formula and you get X result.

But now is the time for me to teach other women that there is a whole other world and way of doing things that calls in the feminine. It’s beautiful and freeing and most of us ladies are walking around cut off from its power. And in truth, men need this too. We all need some Yin to our Yang.

I have so much more to share, a whole new world of knowledge to give to you so I hope you’ll stick around. I’ll have even more to share after my next level summer training at IPE with my teacher/mentor Marc David.

I hope you’ll keep reading and watching. I hope we get to work together. I hope to see you at my first live event this fall.

And I send you so much love and hope…

And know I walk this journey with you.

Please share your thoughts, comments, and heart with me below. I love hearing from you.

Love,

Pushing It on stage at HMBA Live, May 3, 2013

It’s a big weekend for me…again! I’m here in Florida visiting my mom and spending Mother’s Day with her.

What a miracle she is. She is truly healing in every way possible, and I feel more blessed than ever to have her. Thank you so much for your continued love, prayers, and concern. You are incredible!

Now to share a special video with you…I’m hoping it makes you smile and MOVE!

Last week, I shared with you that I got to co-MC a BIG event called Holistic MBA Live in Brooklyn, NY.

As if that wasn’t amazing on its own, I also got to lead another stretch/dance break while at the event.

(If you missed my first one, you can check it out here and get your Gangham Style on!)

Ladies (and gents), this time around, I truly let my alter-ego, DJ A-Train come on out to play. That’s been my karaoke name for years…yes, I sign-up and rap to old school hip hop with that name. 🙂 DJ A-Train is the most fearless, fun, and booty shaking side of me and she needed to come out to play!

So naturally, I picked one of my favorite jams of all time, Push It, by Salt-N-Pepa.

Feel free to come dance along and shake it with me…no one is watching and even if they are, they probably need to dance it out too! The world needs to loosen up a bit.

Two key tips to understanding this video: 1) I was wearing a yellow dress before I led the stretch break and 2) the amazing mentors and creators of Holistic MBA are named Carey Peters and Stacey Morgenstern.

Now it will make sense….and here we go!

I hope this made you laugh, shake your groove thang, and most importantly inspire you to be YOU and move through whatever may be blocking you in any place of your life.

As I shared with you last week, fear and feelings of not being enough (which really are just fear) are the biggest killers to creating the shift you really want…be it with your body, your business, your relationship, or anything else in your life.

I think many of us are cutting ourselves off from the lives we want to have because we keep limiting ourselves with these joy-sucking ideas of perfection.

If you’ve been either outwardly or secretly beating yourself up for not being “perfect” at X, waiting for the “perfect” opportunity to move forward with something you want, and/or replaying over and over again how “perfect” a past situation was and thinking you’ll never get what you desire again, honey, it’s TIME to push that sh** out of your way.

(For us ladies out there, I think getting into your hips, your power center, and tapping into your feminine strength are super key to doing just that!)

Part of what I hope you get when you see my dance break (besides a laugh) is that in no way am I a perfect anything, including a perfect dancer. But I refuse to let that stop me, especially from having a good time.

Be willing to do whatever it takes to move you forward and never wait for perfection to knock at your door.

You’ll lose a lifetime and a whole lot of opportunities to dance it out!

Now I want to hear from you.

Have you ever moved through ideas of perfection and fear to get something you really wanted? What happened and what did you learn?

OR…

What is an area that you have being waiting on and wanting to see real change happen that you are ready NOW to take inspired action on?

Sending you so much love…now go PUSH IT!

P.S. Have you been thinking about working with me to be your guide on your journey? If so, email me at Anita@AnitaAvalos.com and let’s talk. I have just a few spots open right now in my private coaching practice (both in body-food relationship coaching and biz coaching) and would love to work with you!

Holy cow!

My butt should be getting some shut eye but you know what?

I’m too freakin’ excited to sleep…so I’m sending you a love note. I want to share something amazing that is happening for me this weekend, something that is making me feel on top of the world.

By the time you read this, I will be getting ready to co-MC (or co-host) for day 2 an amazing live event here in Brooklyn, NY.

It’s called Holistic MBA Live, an incredible conference lead by the creators of Holistic MBA, Carey Peters and Stacey Morgenstern.

In a nutshell, it’s 3 days of some the best tools to help those of us in holistic health get our mojo going , learn incredible business skills, and become better coaches.

But the reason I wanted to write to you today was to speak to you about visibility and living your dreams.

So many of us are so afraid to let our light shine.

We are afraid of being “too much”, tooting our own horn, outshining others OR…

Waiting until we are “enough”.

Thin enough, successful enough, rich enough, and on and on.

Today I’m calling, excuse my language, bullshit on all of that.

You, my friend, are enough right now to step into your potential, to be visible, to live a life you LOVE.

For me, this event and being asked to co-MC has been about that. It’s about stepping into a more visible version of myself, sharing my talents, my spirit, and my personal enoughness with about 450 other women (and some men too) and having a damn good time doing it!

It’s also asking them to do the same…because when one of us shines, we set the stage for others to shine as well.

That’s me with my MC partner, Jocelyn. She’s incredible in every way!

Seriously, I am pinching myself this weekend. Is this my life? Am I really able to show women how to create a body and life they love, mentor new health coaches to get their businesses up and running, travel, and get opportunities like this?

YES! And it feels amazing.

And you know what? This opportunity would have never happened had I not decided to do a stretch break (remember my Gangham Style video?) back in October. Had I played down my desire to be on stage and strut my stuff, I would have never been invited for this incredible opportunity.

I have a burning desire to stand in front of hundreds and hundreds of women (and even the men who love them) and deliver the message of my work. That feels a bit down the road…but guess what? This opportunity right here is giving me a taste of what it feels like.

Once your body knows at a visceral level what it feels like to have the thing you desire, you are on the road to that reality.

Let me tell you…seizing the moment and saying yes to yourself, your desires, your passions is the way to create a life you love and experience magic in your life.

My question to you is…are you willing to say yes?

I really hope so.

Here’s your lovework…

The next time an opportunity you desire comes your way….a date, a vacation, a workshop, an internship, whatever it may be…and you hear that truest part of you screaming out “Yes! I want THAT!”, do your life a favor and just say yes, even if it seems silly, unreasonable, and/or doesn’t make sense.

I swear to you every time I have done this it has paid off immensely for me, leading me to new adventures, opportunities, and personal growth that I never would have imagined or could have expected with my “rational” mind.

Think about it…the first HMBA Live event I went to was 2 years ago. I was a scared, beginning health coach, about to get laid off from teaching, and had no idea how I was going to make “this” work or even what the hell was coming next. But I invested in myself, I took big leaps, and the results have changed my life and allowed me to do work that is changing the lives of my clients daily.

Keep. Saying. YES!

Ok, I love you much, but should get to sleep! A big day awaits!

I’ll be sharing more soon…including a video of the stretch break I lead to one of my favorite jams of all time, “Push It” by Salt-N-Pepa.

It was a beyond fun!

Stay tuned.

Believing in you and all you can do,