Today I woke up and did something a bit unexpected.

Instead of partaking in a horrible habit that I find myself doing more often than I like (checking my phone for messages, emails, and Facebook updates first thing in the A.M…I know, I know), I rolled over, grabbed some paper and a pen, and wrote myself a little list.

I titled it “What I REALLY Want”. Empahsis on the word REALLY.

This little list was long overdue.

See, November has felt like a bit of a fantastic but frantic blur.

It’s been an incredibly busy time for me work wise and I am knee deep in my Eating Psychology Coach Certification Program with my incredible mentor, Marc David…all things I love but take an immense amount of time and attention.

And it’s been uber busy on the family front too. I had a good amount of my fam bam in town and made a trip to Texas mid-month. So much fun and I loved being with everyone…it’s rare that I get to see that many members of my family in one month…but the truth was I was also becoming exhausted and irritable.

And last week, it became clear to me that I was getting way out of balance.

How did I know?

The things that normally lit me up felt like work.
I started to feel like I was simply checking things off the list instead of actually experiencing them.
I found my patience getting low and my frustrations getting high.

(To be fair, I don’t think it helped that I was PMS-ing, but the degree to which my PMS kicks in is directly proportional to how much care I have given myself all month long. TRUTH.)

And to top it off, I felt guilty about having those feelings. It was Thanksgiving week, my mom was here, I have so many blessings…how could I be acting/feeling like this?

By Friday, my body was sending me a very clear message. I finally slowed down to listen.

“Too much output, not enough filling the inner tank. What do you want? How do you want to feel?”

Oh yeah! ME! What about her?

By all outside appearances, I was doing what I really wanted. Going to dance, yoga, working, creating…but there was a sensual quality that was lacking and I knew it.

You see, I was doing the things I normally do, but not doing them SENSUALLY.

There is a difference…subtle at times, but a game-changer nonetheless.

I know this…and beginning that Friday, I started getting back to my sensual ways.

Here’s the thing: When you do things in a sensual way, it’s almost like experiencing your life in 3-D. The colors get brighter. There’s texture to it all. The experience feels fresh and there’s passion, emotion, and LIFE to even the simplest of tasks. You are tuned in to the richness of everything.

Food tastes better. You live embodied. Everything feels a bit fresher and lighter…and even if you are going through an incredibly difficult time, your heart will get touched in a deeper way and you will be able to move through the experience being present instead of going numb.

When I say the word sensual, immediately, many folks think I am talking about sex. Yes, of course, being sensual and diving into your sensuality DOES effect your sex life and make it more juicy, but sex and sensuality do not mean the same thing.

In fact, some of the most sensual creatures on the planet are babies and small children.

What do I mean?

Simply watch how babies and small children engage in the world. Their senses are turned ON. They eat with gusto…playing with food, delighting in it. When they play, they are SO into the activity. They run like the wind, enjoy full belly laughs, delight in music and sound. They rock their 5 senses like no one’s business.

And in truth, they also are super tapped in to their 6th sense as well. I worked with (and still do) children for over 10 years…if they have a good vibe about someone, they will let them know and send them so much love. But they also can pick up on negative energy as well and will stay clear of someone or something that doesn’t feel right.

We are all born as sensual creatures but we tend to lose it along the way.

And it’s a shame because living life sensually has such huge, positive side effects. For example:

1) Sensual living helps you effortlessly release weight– When you are more present and allowing your senses to shine, you become more relaxed and HAPPY, two key components to lasting and effortless weight-loss. I cannot say enough what ill effects stress has on your weight, body, and life.

Not only that, but you get a deeper and more pleasurable experience from your food, which will actually cause your appetite to regulate, allowing you to get satisfied with less food, no struggle or deprivation required.

2) Your life oozes of joy– When you live sensually, everyday experiences become tiny adventures.

The shower you take every morning gets a bit richer and luxurious. The yoga class you take every Tuesday becomes new again because you are living in your body, not in your head. You linger just a few moments longer when you kiss your husband goodnight or when hold your baby girl as you tuck her in to wish her sweet dreams.

There is just a sweetness that comes from a sensual life that has nothing to do with money but all the more to do about feeling into your life more deeply. It’s addicting!

3) It’s a magnet for more of what you want- When you get back to your senses and start living sensually, it feels so good, so sweet, you naturally become a magnet for more and more sensual experiences.

Sensual living is deeply connected to gratitude, you see. And when it comes to gratitude, the more you can appreciate what you already have, can delight in it, the more cool stuff comes your way.

Force, struggle, and simply surviving another day dims not just your light, but your ability to tap into your gratitude, live sensually, and thus attract the kind of experiences you really want.

So, how do you get into a sensual living? What do you do if you have gotten a bit off track?

Here’s a few of my favorite tips to get you back to your senses:

1) Ask yourself what you really want based on how you want to feel.– Yes, I just did this this morning. Start with the feelings you want to have and go from there. Here’s why…if you just start making a list of what you want from the place of doing instead of the place of feeling, it’s easy to get caught up in the cycle of putting too much on your plate.

Focusing on what feels good and right will allow you to recapture your simple pleasures. An example I wrote on my list this morning was I wanted to move my body in the morning…before the emails and the Facebook…because it makes me FEEL alive and tuned in.

2) Slow down, Baby– Slow is the new sexy and also one of the quickest ways to tapping into your sensual self (yep, you get there faster by going slower-how ironic).

When you slow down, you can really feel into the experience in a new way, thus allowing that kind of 3-D experience I told you about to come through.

Try it today..when you eat, when you shower, when make your bed, when you drink your tea, when you make love. Slow it down, feel into it. Allow your senses to come alive again..all of them, including your 6th sense… and then just try and tell me that it wasn’t completely AWESOME.

3) Be ok with saying NO or turning it OVER to someone else– Here’s where I got snagged, my friend. There was so many things I wanted to do, that I thought I could handle, but in reality, it was simply too much. I kept piling more and more on my plate this month until my plate started to overflow. Yes, even I forget that I am only one woman.

“But I can do it all” you say. No doubt. I’m sure you can. But the real question isn’t if you can do it all, but can you do all those things on your list with joy and do them sensually?

The key to living a sensual life is doing the things you love in a way that feels self-loving. When we take on too many things, even if they sound fun or delight us, they start to feel like chores instead of joy rich experiences. And then we start to feel resentful…irritable….EXHAUSTED. Weight-gain, restlessness, and anger might even start to show up as well.

We go into survival mode. We sort of numb out, maybe even turning to food, wine, caffeine, or mindless TV to pull us through.

Sometimes the most loving thing we can do for ourselves and for others is to simply say “no” and/or ask for help. I think this is especially challenging for women, but incredibly important. Again, think about how you want to feel and from this place, see what items you can take off your to-do list completely or give to someone else. BONUS TIP: the lightness you start to feel by doing this directly impacts the lightness you feel in your body. Releasing the actual psychical weight starts with releasing the emotional weight we carry.

I can tell you that I took my own advice and feel about 20 pounds lighter. I slowed it waayy down this weekend, retreated a bit. That felt so good.

And after making my list today, I could see clearly what was really important to me, what I had to say no to, and what would light me up. I recommitted to my sensual ways of living, and it started with the simple things, things that made me feel alive and happy.

I had the best, long, hot shower, lathering up this new, incredibly smelling soap I just got that’s packed with essential oils. I made the most incredible, healthy coconut and chocolate smoothie. I loving made the most fragrant curry mung bean soup..my goddess, does my apartment smell good right now!

I’m loving writing to you and am about to go on a walk this morning. And I have no idea what messages are on my voicemail, what’s happening on Facebook, or who emailed me overnight. I’ll get to it and I’ll do it sensually as well. But for the moment, I am delighting in this experience. The flowers on my desk. The warmth of my heater. The glow of my desk lamp. The music playing as I type. And it feels so good.

Now I want to hear from you…

In the comments below, I would love to know…
1) Where do you get stuck in living sensually?
2) What area of your life would you like to bring sensuality into?
3) What is one tip you will use to bring more sensual living into your life?

I can’t wait to hear what you’ve got!

Lots of love,

P.S. Want even more support around living sensually, especially during the holiday season? Then make sure you sign on up for my upcoming virtual group program,
Celebrate and SHINE: The Feminine Journey Into Your Most Pleasurable Holiday and Empowered New Year.

It’s going to be an amazing experience designed to help you have the holiday and new year you desire, without the stress, weight-gain, and dropping off of your healthy habits that typically comes this time of year. PLUS we are going to dig into how to shift your core beliefs that keep you stuck and making the same New Year’s Resolutions year after year.

Take advantage of $100 off until Friday, November 30th…and know that $30 of every sale will go directly to American Red Cross to support Hurricane Sandy victims.

Can you give yourself the gift of 5 hours just for you over the next 30 days?

Click HERE to learn more and enroll today! We begin December 9th!

Tell me…
Did you have a good Halloween?

Do something fun, silly, or kinda scary?

I hope so. While I didn’t do much last night, I did take a walk around the neighborhood with Mike after our yummy home-cooked dinner to see all the cute little ones dressed up.

(I got to dress-up the weekend before for a costume party. Michael Jackson lives again! Check the pic!)

After that, we almost watched some horror films, but I have a low tolerance
for fright, so I choose to go to bed instead.

But yesterday I couldn’t help but think of something truly scary, a real horror story, that happened to me just a few years back (and would quite honestly would happen to me lots of times.)
This is actually really hard for me to talk about but you need to know this…

A few years ago, I remember I had just finished another round of the Master Cleanse aka the MC (you know, the lemon, water,maple syrup, and cayenne pepper liquid detox that means no eating for 10 days straight).

And it was Halloween night…I had a few parties to hit up and of course, I
was totally dressed up and ready to enjoy one of my favorite days of the year.

But at the same time, I kept scaring myself…around food.

Before I even got to any of the parties, I was already having an inner
debate and struggle about what I would let myself eat that night…

Would I allow myself to have any desserts? Candy? Drinks?

And if I did, how much and what would that say about me if I let myself
have something “bad” after “detoxing” (translation= STARVING MYSELF)
for 10 days straight? The dialogue was kinda like this:

“Anita. You don’t want to blow it and eat any treats tonight. Look how disciplined you were doing your lemonade detox for 10 days. You’ll get fat if you do it.”

So I resolved that I would just have one treat and “be a good girl” again the
next day, perhaps going back on the MC the following day.

At the first party of the night, my friend who is an amazing baker made
some incredible baked goods. They were even on the healthier tip…
Gluten-free, vegan options. I ate one and then took home a bag of them that
I promised myself I would save for later and enjoy over time.

But…when I got in my car after the last party of the night, I felt like
those cookies and brownies were calling to me.

And another voice came through…this one said:

“Anita, you already screwed up earlier tonight when you had that cookie.
You already gave in.
Might as well eat all of them NOW and then tomorrow
you’ll make up for it and go back on the MC for another week.”

So guess what I did…I started eating them on the drive home. I
finished them when I got home, stuffing them in my mouth as fast as
I could while standing in my kitchen at 3 am.

I don’t think I even let myself really taste them or enjoyed them.
There was too much shame, guilt, and sadness going on.

And another voice came in, saying:

“Look at you. What a pig. You have no willpower. You better fix this
tomorrow…you don’t want to get fat again, do you?”

While I never was a bulimic (I hated the thought of throwing up), I did
indeed “make up” for it in other ways. I went back on the MC for a few
more days and exercised the hell out of my body.

No one knew about my secret pain because at this point in my life,
I had lost quite a bit of weight. But these were old habits that I had
been doing for years and they were hard to let go of.

And while I was no longer dieting on a day-to-day basis,
I would have these bouts of extremes around food because even
with all the BEST NUTRITIONAL INFORMATION, I had not
truly looked under the hood and bravely unraveled at the deepest level my relationship with food and my body.

I was still scared to truly trust my body and food and to see them
both as my beautiful friends during this journey we call LIFE.

Snapshot to this year: At the party I went to on Saturday, they had
these awesome chocolate cupcakes from this amazing gluten-free/vegan
spot called Babycakes, one of my all time faves.

Of course I grabbed one! I took one delicious bite,
savoring the rich flavor, with no guilt. That one bite was perfect, it felt like enough…so I took the rest of it home and have been enjoying a little bit of it at a time this week.

(But if I wanted to have the whole thing that night or not have any at all, that would be ok too.
I don’t trash my body these days with that crazy talk or “all or nothing” approach to food. And because I get my pleasure in so many other ways, sugary treats don’t have the same hold on me as they used to.)

Which version of me do you think is getting/got more out of life? Which one
do you think is more of a magnet for all I want?

Which one is having more fun?
The woman who has her worth wrapped up in her weight, never feels like she is enough,picks her body apart, and is terrified that she doesn’t know how to be around food

OR…

the woman who trusts her body, sees food as both nourishment
& pleasure, is living her truth, deeply loves herself, and as a result, no longer struggles with her weight?

Am I “perfect” now, no worries or flaws? Hell no…but my life is so much more free,
open, and happier than it used to be. And I am having a ball!

Do you see yourself in my old horror story? Can you relate?

If you are saying, “yes I do” then let me assure that if I could find my way out
of that way of living, so can you. I want to be your guide.

This is why I am opening up 10 spots for a free “Find Your Body Freedom Discovery Session”.
(Normally, these sessions are $97.)

In this free, 45-minute private coaching call, you’ll:

-Discover exactly where you get stuck around food and your body, what challenges block you, and how to get past them once and for all.

-Uncover the possibility for a new, loving, and liberating relationship with food and your body so you can live in a place of total freedom (no more “all or nothing” thinking, fear of food, and weight-hate!)

-Develop a plan of action for reaching your goals WITHOUT deprivation, workouts you hate, or struggle…time to kiss self-hate goodbye for good!

-Come away knowing that having ease and pleasure with food and your body and creating lasting results is not some kind of pipe dream, but totally possible and within your reach NOW, no matter how many times you may have struggled in the past.

This is all waiting for you and I want to help you get to where you want to go…but you need to take the first step.

Want to be one of the lucky 10? Here’s what to do:

Simply email me at Anita@AnitaAvalos.com and let me know you are IN and want one of these 10 free spots.

That’s it. The first ten people to say “yes” will get a confirmation email from me and I will give you all the details on how to set up your session. Yay! 😉

Don’t wait or stop yourself from getting what you truly want and deserve. You don’t need to waste another day in the struggle alone.

Email me now, let me know you want me to reserve a spot for you, and let’s get moving in a new direction. (Anita@AnitaAvalos.com)

Remember, I only have 10 spots available.

Really, what do you have to lose…except the struggle itself?

I can’t wait to talk with you! Until then, please comment below and let me know:
1) Have you ever struggled around food like I did?
2) What has worked for you in the past?
And then please share with your circle via Facebook, Twitter, or email.
Let’s get this message OUT!

Lots of love,

P.S. I know it can be really hard to take the first step and reach out. Hey, it’s scary for me to be so raw and honest with you. But if we don’t start reaching out, start doing things differently, this crazy cycle will just continue.

If this is calling to you in any way, now is the time to honor that and move out of the struggle and into the truest, most liberated version of you.

Let’s spend some time together and unlock what is possible for you…with your body, food, and most importantly, your LIFE.

And if you know someone who could really use this session, share this post with them or with your community. I’m ready to be of service and believe that life has a beautiful way of connecting the right people together when their hearts are open and they are ready for a shift.

Email me now and let’s talk..or share this post. All my love.

I posed this question the other day, and I’d love to see what YOU think…

If someone told you that there was some GREAT business out there to invest in…but it had a 99% failure rate (translation: it was almost certain that you would lose everything you put into it), would you invest in it?

I’m guessing the answer is a definitive NO.

But guess what?

That’s basically what we do when we choose to go on a diet.

Diets have a 98-99% failure rate, meaning most peeps who go on one gain all the weight they lost or MORE back within a year.

Yet, time and time again, we invest our hard earned cash, time, energy, and even our desires into them.

It sounds so insane when we see the hard, cold facts, but yet we keep searching…
searching to find the perfect diet, the perfect workout, the magic pill that will make our weight-loss fantasy a reality.

See, as a nation, we are really great at LOSING weight. I’m sure you can name many programs you have done where you did indeed lose weight. But that’s not the issue. The reason the search continues is because we haven’t found weight-loss “systems” that are sustainable and lasting.

There are some big reason whys and one of them is this…

Diets rely solely on a very masculine approach to weight-loss and the body.

What do I mean by that?

Think about it. Diets by nature are all about strict rules, numbers, counting, measurement, facts, systems, and extreme exercise.

We are taught through these programs that we can not trust our bodies, we can not trust ourselves around food, and that the body is something that must be controlled as well. We are fed the idea that we must rely on some outside system to tell us how much we can eat, what works for our bodies, and that in order to love our bodies, we first must whip it into shape.

It’s a “by any means necessary” kind of approach, based on force, control, and even suffering. Take a closer look at the language that is used in the multi-billion dollar industry around body, weight, and food:

Fight Your Hunger
Incenerate Fat
Battle of the Bulge
No Pain No Gain
Whip Yourself Into Shape

Do you see a trend here? I don’t hear much about compassion, about working with your body. Feels like we are going to war or something!

Reality check: Anything you try to force into submission will eventually say “ENOUGH OF THIS” and either shut down to protect or defend itself another way.

This includes your body. So yes, you can fight against her for awhile, you can fight against her innate desire for pleasure, her natural sensations of hunger. You can even change her shape via struggle and punishing exercises, but she will do what it takes to protect herself and get her needs met in the end.

Sometimes I get flack for my open disgust for Weight Watchers. Well yesterday I saw a photo outside their meeting spot that read “Lose Weight…Fight Your Hunger.”

Perfect example of what I am talking about. You can’t “fight your hunger”, nor should you. It’s natural for your body to get hungry and desire food. This kind of backwards thinking is exactly what is keeping us stuck around food, weight, or working with our bodies. Once again, what you fight will come back to defend itself.

We are in deep need to bring more of the feminine into the equation.

Here’s what I mean. What if we thought more about what foods actually NOURISH the body instead of what their calorie or point count was? What if we could learn to listen to our bodies and trust her body wisdom?

What if hunger meant we needed to be re-fueled or needed better quality food, not that there was some enemy inside of us that needed to be destroyed? What if we learned to move our bodies in a way that filled up us with joy,excitement, and compassion?

What if we allowed ourselves to love our bodies, ourselves, so much that we naturally eat, move, and live in a way that supports her?

What if we no longer allowed a scale to measure or worth? And what if we were given permission to actually explore the emotional reasons why we might be holding on to weight instead of just trying to get rid of it? This is the feminine way to releasing weight, connecting to the body and to food.

I’m thinking there would be a lot more truly healthy and happy people out there, male and female alike.

It’s not to say that the masculine ways don’t have their place. Sometimes we do need a straight-up nutritional shift. Sometimes we might have a food allergy, we take the food out, and wow…we start to feel better and even find our weight starts to shift. Sometimes we love a good challenge…maybe bootcamp is your thing and it feels you up with joy. Awesome. Do what lights you up.

But as it is now, the way we have been going about it all, is WAY out of balance.

And the statisitcs show it isn’t working. So isn’t time to stop doing it the same old way and be open to a new approach? Let the feminine way to start to move her way through you to create lasting change built on compassion, respect, and a willingness to listen to the body instead of fighting her.

Afraid it won’t work? After years of dieting and struggling around food and your body, what is there to lose…except the diet struggle itself?

If you are feeling me on this, then I’d LOVE for you to do a couple of things:
1) In the comments below, tell me your thoughts, especially how you are going to bring in more of the feminine into how you relate to food and your body.

2) Share this post if it touched you in any way. Email it to a friend or post it on Facebook. Tweet it. The more we get the message out, the better. YOU can be an agent of change.

And if you want to take your own evolution further, are ready to break free from the diet cycle and stop putting your life on hold until you are the “perfect weight”, then I invite you to sign on up for my Body Freedom Breakthrough Package. (You can learn all about it HERE). It’s an amazing way to start to put these feminine principles into practice and get incredible support in the process. I’d love to work with you!

With all my love,

I don’t know about you, but there’s a dance party that happens at least once a week…right in front of my bathroom mirror.

Well, that’s where it starts when I am in the “getting ready” process. It usually trickles on over right in front of my closet and yes, even in front of the huge mirror I have in my living room. On a really good week, the dance party happens on the daily. And at this dance party, I have on the BEST music, I’ve got the best moves, and I feel wickedly sexy..especially when I slip on my heels as I head out the door.

But I have to say, heels have never been my best friend. A couple of hours in, my feet would start to hurt, my strut got unsteady, and well, I’d be looking for my flats.

Never would I have imagined that there was a class out there that could take the feeling I had during my at home dance party, give it an amazing boost, AND teach me how to work my heels instead of the other way around.

That class is Heel Hop, created by the extremly talented and equally drop-dead gorgeous Kamilah Barrett, famed choreographer who has danced for the best of them, including Prince and 50 Cent. It’s been made for women like me who are ready to take their confidence, their sexy, and their essence to a whole new level.

After having such an amazing experience in her class at the KTLA taping I told you about back in March, I just HAD to sit down with her and learn more about her, how/why she created Heel Hop, and share with you the very powerful message behind her class. Trust me, it goes way deeper than just slipping on some heels and calling your self sexy.

Watch the video to learn more about the deeper love Kamilah wants every woman to feel and how you can start reclaiming yours today.


Pay special attention to what she has to say about “looking past” the outer you when you look in the mirror and why how you make people feel is more important than what you do for them.

See, way deeper than just heels.

Then, in the comments below, tell me how you are going to take Kamilah’s suggestions and put them into action. How can you tune in at a deeper level to your very essence, your inner star, and strut through the world with confidence, heels or no heels?

AND definetly come check out Kamilah at Your Neighborhood Studio, on Saturday mornings and soon to be on Friday nights. I am usually there and we can shine together.

With so much love,