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Find out why this particular run/walk on the beach was a "body loving victory" for me
I wanted to share with you today the real truth of where I am with my body because I think it’s important for you to understand that no matter who we are or where we are in our “food/body story”, there are still struggles…and there are still sweeter places to go.
I’m hoping by sharing my truth, you can feel safer and more understood in yours…and we can keep lifting each other up to higher ground.
It’s a bit scary to tell you this because for many coaches, there is an underlying belief that in order to really be of service, you must be fully over your “issues”.
As a holistic health coach specializing in showing women how to create a more loving and satisfying relationship with food and their bodies, I definitely feel that belief creep into my psyche. I reflect and ask myself, “how can I show women the way out if I still have my own body doubts?”
Because here’s the thing: I not only want to show up fully for myself simply for myself. I also want to show up fully for myself because I know that the more I can do that, the richer and deeper my work with my clients can go.
But I want to come clean with you.
I still have further to go with my body love story.
Although I intuitively knew this, I came head to head with this reality about a week ago. Some one close to me basically shared with me that my body needed further improving, tightening and toning. As soon as this happened, I felt myself crumble a bit inside. Actually, it really hurt.
Instantly, I felt like I was back at my old weight. I questioned my body, questioned the way it looked and if it was “good enough”. I felt like I had to defend my weight, my dress size, my “body movement” frequency. What would count as enough for this person? Then, feeling these negative feelings about myself, I even questioned if I was as far along in my body love story as I thought I was. And then I had to sort through my feelings about the person who made these comments.
It was rough to come in contact with this shadow side of myself.
But then I had to get even more honest…I was holding on to bits of this shadow side even before the comments were made. In truth, I’ve had some pretty unloving thoughts about myself that needed to be fully looked at. That was why someone else’s judgement of me hit so hard; I had been lacking full body acceptance of myself first.
Truth:
I still have days where I catch myself comparing myself to other women’s bodies and not feeling enough.
I still have bouts of insecurity about whether or not my fiancé finds me fit enough, beautiful enough, amazing enough.
I still have caught myself looking myself once over in the mirror when I slip into my bikini and feeling like perhaps my hips are too lumpy, my stomach could be flatter, my thighs less thick.
Yes, I still have days where those kind of garbage thoughts creep in.
The honest truth is that I still struggle around having 100%, 365 days a year, 24 hours a day total body acceptance and love.
But here’s the other truth.
I have come leaps and bounds from where I was just a handful of years ago.
I no longer obsess about every calorie, point, nimble I eat and worry that my thighs are growing larger with every bite.
I no longer look for the words “diet, low-calorie, non-fat, or zero points” to decide if something is “healthy”. I go for quality foods and foods that fuel my life…when people ask me how many calories or fat grams I eat I have no clue. I don’t live that way anymore.
I no longer try to fit into a particular “food dogma” as the holy grail of what I should or shouldn’t be eating. On any given day, with any given meal, I might be eating what someone might label as raw, vegan, vegetarian, pescatarian, paleo, gluten-free, dairy-free, whatever….I have no true label. I just eat what works best for me and listen to my body. (She tells me very clearly what foods help me thrive and which ones take my energy and health for a nose-dive.) That keeps me sane and happy around food. And because of that, I live a whole lot more fully.
I no longer go to exercise classes I hate simply because I think they will give me the “perfect body.” Now I move in ways that not only challenge me, but make me feel like a million bucks.
I’ve stopped the extreme diets followed by binges, followed by self-loathing and feeling like a failure. So done with that.
I went running this week on the beach in my bikini bottoms and sports bra..something I would have been way to freaked out to do in the past because I kept obsessing about having a “juicy” bottom.
I am in awe of the way my body shows up for me, all the beautiful places she takes me, all the ways she lets me take in the world. And I am in such great health…I feel blessed for this and give gratitude for my body and health daily. Yes, really, every day…even on my “off” days.
And even though I am working on having total, unapologetic, unrelenting body acceptance, I definitely have tons more love and appreciation for my body than I ever did before. I actually do think I am a hottie. (And I think you are one too!)
Yes, I still have my insecurities and sometimes I damn the mirror…but there are many more times that I actually check myself out in it and think “wow, you look amazing.”
The days I am loving the skin I’m in far out weigh the days when I could use a “body love boost”.
A few years ago, I would have never been able to do the photo shoot I did because frankly, I lacked the confidence. Not only that, I would have been too worried about what someone else might think or say about me because of it.
Now I see these photos as an invitation to every woman to own her personal sexy and that makes me feel damn good.
And a few years ago, negative comments about my body would have put me in such a tail spin that I would have been on the Master Cleanse the next day, hitting the gym extra hard, and mapping out my master plan for the quickest way to drop weight fast.
Know what I did this time? I cried, took notice of my feelings, and decided I could do better…not with my “workout” or “diet” but with my thoughts about my body. I realized I could uplevel my body love.
So, to sum it up, I am with you. I am a work in progress. I am still working on letting go of those negative body beliefs, media hype, and crazy perfection ideals our society throws at us left and right. But I am so much closer than I was before and for that I am very grateful. Life has opened up for me because of that and I can only imagine how much more pleasure rich it will get the deeper and deeper I dig my body as is.
And in the end, I am thankful that this whole situation last week happened because it taught me to go deeper, to love myself even more.
I now know those compare and despair thoughts ARE garbage, toxic, and are a waste of time and space.
Per the words of wisdom from my mentor and teacher, Marc David, I am on a new experiment of loving my body 100% TODAY, as is, nothing to change. Yes, I am still rockin my healthy ways, still committed to taking my health and life to higher and higher ground, but am on a quest to fall in complete love with my body in her current state.
That means that every day I am going to dig me when I look in the mirror. I am giving myself permission to crown myself “Gorgeous, zero to change”. I am walking with more strut in my step and plan to soak up the last bit of summer in my bikini with unshakeable confidence.
I’m ready to take my body love to the next level, and I’m really excited to see where this takes me.
I’d love to invite you to do the same.
In the comments below, let me know how you plan to up-level your body love. Where can you be kinder to you? What negative thoughts can you let go of? What would your life be like if you had total body love?
Sending you so much love,
(Yes, yes…that is Ryan Gosling’s gorgeous mug over there and he does want to you to do something incredibly nice for yourself but before we get into all that…)
I don’t know about you, but I can’t believe it’s August, the official last month of summer.
Damn, it goes too fast, doesn’t it?
Make sure you make every last moment of it count.
Feel the sand in between your toes…savor the reddest, ripest strawberry…be silly and carefree.
And if you haven’t yet, give yourself a vacay, even if it just means tuning the every day world
out for a handful of days for some deep relaxation and simple pleasures.
That’s what summer is for!
I’m excited because I am going to actually heed my own advice
and take a breather in about 3 weeks. Not sure where or what it’s going to look like just yet,
but I can say that I am going off-line and getting my summer break on for at least 10 days.
BUT…before any of that goes down, I wanted to reach out to you and see if you might want to
join me for a little girl time.
I don’t know about you, but I absoultely LOVE getting together with my girls and connecting in person.
(Text, email, and Facebook are cool, but it’s so much sweeter when we can connect live and in the flesh, wouldn’t you agree?)
Something really special happens when we women can get together and just freely share our thoughts, questions, laughter, and insights with one another. No offense to the fellas, but there’s just a cool, candid energy that happens when it’s just us ladies hanging out.
What’s even sweeter is when I can mix in my girl time with my normal healthy routines.
That’s why I am so stoked to putting together some monthly meetups.
(Maybe we should call them Happy, Healthy, and Hot Hangouts?)
These aren’t workshops but just some fun opportunities to connect with likeminded
women, talk, hang out, and do something good/fun for ourselves.
Want to join me?
(Ryan Gosling seems to think you should. And do you really want to disappoint HIM!?)
Here’s the scoop, LA Lady!
Our first meet-up will be for “Green Juice and Girl Talk”
on Saturday, August 11th, at one of my favorite lunch and juice spots,
Better Life Cuisine in Santa Monica, CA.
Feel free to bring a friend with you. This will be a great chance for us to get together and do something fun and healthy for ourselves. I just really want the chance to get to know you better and create more community amoungst my AnitaAvalos.com tribe.
Plus, you’ll be able to kinda “pick my brain” about your burning mind-body nutrition questions and
get a real peek into my world; all the places and activities I’ll be picking for meetups are things
I am already doing to live a happy, healthy, and hot life…I’m just brining you along for the ride. 🙂
If you want to go, do me a quick favor: simply email me at Anita@AnitaAvalos.com
and let me know you are coming. This way I can save enough seats for all my peeps. 🙂
If you can’t make this one, there will be more coming soon. And if you’re
not in LA, fear not! I tend to get around (umm,let me rephrase that to “travel”) so when I head
to Florida, Texas, NYC, etc., I’ll be sure to let you know! Just make sure you are my list so I can keep you in the loop…simply sign up at the end of this post!:)
For now, here are the deets again:
What: Green Juice and Girl Talk
When: Saturday, August 11th from 1-3 pm
Where: Better Life Cuisine, just west of the Lincoln and Broadway Intersection
717 Broadway Street Santa Monica, CA 90401
(310) 458-7620
Cost: Whatever you decide to buy at this lovely place. They have some amazing
raw vegan food as well, so you might want to eat too!
Parking: Street parking is available
RSVP: By emailing me at Anita@AnitaAvalos.com
I can’t wait to see your pretty face in person!
Lots of love and summer fun,
Ever have a word or phrase keep reappearing in your life, several days or weeks in a row?
It certainly has happened to me on more than one occassion…and where as I used to ignore it and not think it was anything special, I now know that there is a deep deep message trying to be birthed and given to me.
This was the case last week when the word “sacred” kept popping up everywhere. It was all over the Flip Your Switch coaching conference I was attending (created by branding expert Christina Morassi). It was showing up again and again in conversations. Then on Sunday, as I was watching Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday where she interviewed Caroline Myss, the word literally hit me over the head as I was reminded of her beautiful piece of work Sacred Contracts, which I bought years and years ago.
Sacred. I let the word soak in, let it touch every part of me.
The next morning, as I was doing my Morning Pages, I went to journal about it and then I made a simple spelling error.
In my haste, I misplaced the letter “c” and suddenly the word “scared” was on my page.
And I had this huge epiphany. How simple was it to switch the two?
How crazy was it that one simple letter, one little switch, could take from a place that is blessed, divine, full of beauty to one that is dark, lonely, and wrapped in fear?
One letter. One switch.
The same is true for our lives.
We have the ability in every situation to live a life that is either sacred or scared. In other words, we can live a life where everything is either cloaked in a sense of awe, newness, and divinity or drowned by our fears, worries, and old stories.
Because I work so much with women and their relationship to their bodies and to food, I couldn’t help but think about how much the two show up in this area.
Many of us have a story with food that is heavily built around fear, around being scared. We’ve dieted, restricted, aimed to tame our appetites because we are so scared of our hunger, of our body’s wisdom. We don’t trust it or don’t even feel we have it to begin with. We fear that if we let down our guard and let our bodies guide us, we would “lose control”…binge on chocolate for days, eat gallons of ice cream, have french fries with every meal. We are scared that if we open that door, we will never be satisfied. We see food as the enemy and our bodies as something we must equally fear. (This is true for those who don’t diet as well and instead tend to binge on low quality foods. It’s the same coin, just a different side.)
That’s the story that gets created when we live scared and when we are scared of food and trusting our bodies.
But if we simply shift from scared to sacred, everything changes.
When we can start to see the absolute sacredness of food and of our bodies, we realize there is nothing to fear. Our eyes start to open up to the abundant gifts that food provides. Food is medicine, nourishment, the very building blocks which create us. It’s love from the Divine and in preparing it, we give that love to ourselves, our families, our friends.
Likewise, our bodies and our bodies’ messages, including hunger, are nothing to fear. The body itself is the vechicle for the soul, the very means by which we get to explore the world, share our gifts, soak in the awesomeness of being ALIVE. All that goes into protecting and celebrating the beautiful gift that is our body is in fact sacred. Movement, eating, sexual connection..these acts and so much more allow us to celebrate the sacred, allow our bodies to thrive and more importantly, to be honored in they way that all things sacred should be.
When it comes to the body’s messages, such as hunger, the need for sleep, the desire for movement, sexual desire, the deep need for human and spirtual connection, these are not messages to fear, push down, or be scared of. Rather, they are sacred callings to honor the Divinity within us.
When we allow ourselves to see through this lens and tune in more deeply to the truth of our own sacredness, we can then relax and know that our Divine nature would not lead us down the path of self-destruction through overeating, undereating, abusing our bodies with brutal, soul-squashing workouts or years of never exercising at all. It would not allow us to fill our sacred bodies with foods that literally smother our very life force and poision us.
No. This is not the way of what I call the Body Sacred.
The Body Sacred can be trusted and must be allowed in. And when we do, Sacred Nourishment comes to us in all forms.
The greater beauty is that this is true not just with food and physcial movement, but in all areas of our lives.
In every moment, we can choose to reframe that which we are scared of into something we see as sacred.
My invitation to you is to embrace every opportunity you have to practice this principle. Very simply, when you find yourself scared, see where you can make subtle but literally life altering shift into the sacred. Food and body is a beautiful gateway to enter into the “scared turned sacred” reframe. Because, as you know if you have been following my work, my favorite life motto is how you do one thing is how you do everything…so how you do food/body is how you essentially do your life.
When you can deeply honor these fears as sacred opportunites and messages in disguise, your world and your body-food relationship will shift in profound ways.
I’d love to hear how this idea has touched you. In the comments below, please share how you will use this “scared turned sacred” reframe into your current relationship with food, your body, and your life.
How can you more fully embrace the truth of the Body Sacred?
And as always, if this post touched you, please share with your community and friends.
Lots of love,
Lunch is one of my simple secrets for feeling and looking fabulous...find out why it should be your too!
I was just talking about this subject the other day with a friend of mine who happens to be a personal trainer.
We were discussing my current free video training series, Find Your Body Freedom, and the importance of the message, not to mention the kick-ass content. (You’re signed up, right? If not, gurrl, get on it!)
And we wound up trading stories of how women, regardless of age or body size, pick themselves apart and have such misguided relationships with food and their bodies.
Things like no sugar for weeks, only to gorge on Skinny Cow frozen treats one night,until they finish the whole box.
Two hour workouts and only nibbles of salad because they are afraid of what real meals would do their figure.
Not wanting to look at themselves in the mirror while working out because they hate seeing their bodies.
And on and on…
(By the way, I too did all of the above during my past struggles with food and body image, so my heart just feels so much compassion when I hear these stories…)
Then she told me how just the night before, around dinner time, she was at Whole Foods and saw a woman who only had kale chips and Kombucha in her basket. My friend’s first thought was,”this woman is trying to underfeed herself at dinner time.”
But I had to interject.
Was that really the case or was there something else going on there?
Maybe she was correct in her assumption…maybe this woman was trying to seriously limit her food intake to lose a few pounds.
OR maybe this woman is following a truth that really helped me shift my metabolism over a year ago, one that health experts Dr. John Douillard and Marc David speak about frequently.
See, most of us know that what we eat impacts our health, weight, and energy.
But what many of us don’t focus on is the HOW and WHEN factors of the food equation.
In the area of the “when”, many of us overlook the importance of lunchtime and really taking advantage of this key time (12-1:30 pm) where naturally our metabolic fire is highest and we are meant to eat the most.
If you want to:
-naturally release weight without struggle
– beat the 4pm “vending machine” blues for good AND
– if you want to naturally stabilize your blood sugar so you aren’t overeating at dinner and well into the evening…
you gotta make lunch (a nutritious, balanced, relaxed lunch with plenty of healthy fats) a priority.
This is NOT the time to eat a tiny salad with non-fat dressing, girl.
Granted, I love me some salad at lunch but my clients know that if that’s my lunch, I eat what I lovingly termed a BAS (Big Ass Salad) with a healthy dressing that DOES have good-fats and plenty of goodies on top (like salmon, avocados, sunflower seeds, or quinoa to name a few…)
When it comes to lunch, you must walk away full and satisfied (not stuffed, but satisfied).
Here’s the deal: What happens naturally when you do this is that you don’t need to snack all afternoon and without struggle, you will notice that you don’t want to eat as much at dinner or later in the day.
This is a very good thing because studies have shown that your metabolism slows down later in the day and that people who eat most of their calories at the end of the day gain weight and weigh more.
In fancy terms, all these insights come from the study of Bio Circadian Nutrition.
(See why that stupid Sim Fast mentality of a sugar-laden shake for breakfast and lunch and a “sensible dinner” was SO flawed, not to mention that their nutrition barren shakes just plain suck?)
Translation? Don’t count your calories but do watch the clock…you want to get most of your food in during the daylight hours and the bulk of them in at lunch.You slim down without struggle or starving yourself! Oh yeahhh! BONUS: This will greatly help with digestion as well.
I tell this secret to clients all the time and the ones who get real, lasting results put this into action…
I’ll tell you right now I love good food and I EAT…but I don’t eat much for dinner. Rather, I have a nutrient rich breakfast, always make time for a very full lunch (my biggest meal of the day), and have something very light at dinner time…occasionally I will have a healthy snack between breakfast and lunch if I really need it, but typically I eat just 3 times a days.
Sometimes I might even be like that girl at Whole Foods and simply have some kale chips and kombucha at “dinner” time.
PLEASE note I’m not fighting my appetite, I’m definitely not starving myself, and I’m not saying to only have kale chips every night for dinner…it’s just that after front-loading most of my nutrition during the daytime and ESPECIALLY having a full, balanced and relaxed lunch, I typically don’t need a lot during dinner.
(And I typically don’t eat after 6:30 pm ).
However…When I DON’T have breakfast and a full, balanced, and relaxed lunch, I am STARVING by dinner time and reaching for the first 4 pm snack I can find. Now I know why that happens and what to do about it.
If you are wondering if I ever have a bigger dinner or if dinner is ever my largest meal of the day, yes, I do…but not too often and that’s typically saved for social situations or if my body is truly needing more fuel.
Golden Rule: Never, EVER starve yourself or try to “tame” your hunger. Rather, learn from your hunger…maybe you need more food on that day or maybe you didn’t eat enough high quality foods during the daytime hours. Maybe you just need some TLC. Lovingly take care of your body and give her what she needs.
When you start to work with Mama Nature, not against her, you find a whole new freedom that diets will never give you. And if you want more truths that work and some more insights on how to make the most out of your meals, make sure you sign on up for my Find Your Body Freedom Video Training Series. It’s FREE, it’s awesome, and it’s almost over so get on it!
Lots of love always,
P.S. As you know, I adore giving you great, free content that makes a difference in your life. All I ask is that if you find value here, share this with people you love. Wisdom like this can make a huge difference in a woman’s life! Please forward it on…
Today I'm breaking down my top tips on how to get back into your fab-YOU-lousness! This little red dress is one of my antidotes. Find out why!
Check it…
Ever walk around one day feeling utterly fantastic?
Hot. Sexy. Smart. Totally confident.
You walk by the mirror and think, “Damn, you are rockin’ it, girl!”
Then “it” hits out of nowhere. Sometimes the very next day.
You go to grab your favorite jeans, shorts, dress, whatever….
And they feel snug. You look down at your belly and it feels bloated and puffy. Is it your imagination or did you instantly put on 5 pounds?
You walk by the mirror and for whatever reason, you don’t see your body the same way you did just a day or two before.
What the hell is going on? How and why does this happen?
And how do you take what many women refer to as a “fat day” (the day when you feel out of sorts with your body and feel like there has been a sudden weight gain/ instant bloating) to a “fab day”?
How do you not let a temporary skewed and negative body image get you in a negative tailspin?
Today, I’ve got 5 tips to help, get you back on top of your game, and kiss that negative self-talk goodbye so you can get on with the business of rockin’ your fantastic self!
I mean we all can agree that you are gorgeous and amazing on any given day.
Don’t let this temporary negative stint bring you down, mama!
After watching, please let me know in the comments below:
1) Has this ever happened to you and how did you deal with it?
2) What makes you feel back on top?
3) What tip from today’s video was most helpful for you?
As always, I love hearing from you. And I truly think that other women will benefit so much from your comments and insights. The more we can remind each other of our fantasticness and raise one another up, the better!
P.S. Keep your eyes open TOMORROW! I’ll be starting sign-ups for an amazing free video training series that will tackle these kinds of topics and so much more so you can get out of food/body jail and really kick your summer off right! I can’t wait to share it with YOU!
xo,
