Week 3 of the 21-Day Sensual Reset™- Dress to Express: The Art of Sensual Adornment

I’m curious…what’s hiding in your closet?

Now I’m not talking about skeletons in your closet or anything like that…

What I’m talking about are the clothes that:

A) Make you feel amazing- but you never wear them unless it’s a “special occasion” (and that almost never happens)

B) Make you feel horrible because they no longer fit but you wear them as a way to remind yourself that you gained weight and/or you “refuse” to buy anything else at your current weight /size. (One of my clients told me that when she was on Weight Watchers they actually told the clients to wear clothes that were slightly too tight at dinner so they wouldn’t overeat. WTF?)

C) Make you feel horrible because they no longer fit AT ALL…but you keep them as a reminder of the size you used to be and are determined to get back to (even if that was 10 years ago or you were basically starving yourself to be at that weight..)

D) Are outdated, stained, torn, don’t flatter your body, don’t make you feel radiant.

E) Are too big for you because you did lose weight…but there is a secret fear that you will gain it back any day now so you don’t buy ones that do fit.

Do you have any of those clothes hiding in your closet and drawers?

If so, you are not alone.

Time after time, I talk to women (and let’s be real, lots of men do this too) who have a variety of these kinds of clothes taking up space not just in their wardrobe, but also in their minds and spirit.

What do I mean?

If every time you go to get dressed, you are spending valuable time and energy looking at clothes in your closet that don’t make you feel beautiful, radiant, sensual, alive, and aren’t a reflection of you, you are truly missing out.

And if everyday you stare at those old jeans that no longer fit and beat yourself up over it in hope that that will “motivate” you, that’s doing zero to develop a loving relationship with your body.

“Motivating” yourself via unloving methods is never the road to take. Even if you lose a few pounds and even if you get to that desired weight, I guarantee that you won’t really love yourself or your body. You CAN NEVER build true love through hate, punishment, or self-loathing.

In many ways, that which you wear and those clothes that you hold on to say a lot about your current state of mind.

If you are holding onto any of the clothes in the above list, you might feel:

– That you need to punish yourself for your weight.

– That you don’t deserve lovely clothes until you are of a certain weight and size.

– That you don’t deserve the time to adorn yourself with clothes that have color, life, and allow for self-expression.

– That if you let go of those old “skinny jeans” you’ve “given up “ on yourself OR you don’t feel safe at your current weight and are expecting to gain the weight back.

– That you simply don’t deserve to have clothes you love…perhaps you are the kind of person who puts everybody else ahead of yourself and feels it is selfish or unloving to adorn yourself in this way.

Hear me out: This has nothing to do with breaking the bank on a new wardrobe or having to buy designer labels to prove that you love yourself.

That’s not what I am talking about. I am not advocating filling up your life with tons of clothes and going into debt.

What I am talking about is that you completely deserve the right to open your closet door each day and find clothes that fit your body, make you feel good, express your mood and spirit, and lift your spirits, regardless of your weight or shape.

In fact, if you make this a priority, you will actually find you might even need less clothes/shoes/etc….but you will have ones that fit you beautifully and create greater body confidence.

I am tired of seeing countless women torture themselves around clothes and/or dim their light by not feeling that they deserve style, color, and expression or keep waiting to be the “perfect size”.

Changing this area of your life is about much more than just style…it’s about healing core body beliefs and moving your inner body story forward in a big way.

So for the last week of our 21-Day Sensual Reset, we are going to focus on one final principle:

Dress to Express- The Art of Sensual Adornment

Beliefs are everything…Understanding The Connections Between Adornment and Body Beliefs

As I shared above, your clothing can hold insight into the deeper body beliefs you are holding onto. It can gauge your current sense of body confidence, feelings of deservability, level of comfortability of being “seen”, and fear around weight gain.

For example, many of my clients have initially come to me believing that they should wait until they’ve lost the weight they want before they get a new pair of jeans, a fantastic dress, or shirts that they feel beautiful in.

They believe that buying clothes that fit and that they look vibrant in at their current weight are somehow symbolic gestures that they have “given up on themselves”. So instead, they “punish” themselves, wearing clothes they don’t really love or are too tight.

They are holding onto the belief that they can only be the “real version” of themselves after they have lost weight or reached a certain size.

Others discover through our work together that they have held onto a secret fear of being seen or noticed; if they were to dress up beautifully, then they might get attention and at some deep level, that feels scary.

They don’t know how to make peace with this so they hide in clothes that dim their light, and yet secretly long to own their beauty.

As you can see, clothing and outward adornment is a really rich place to explore.

The myth is that we can only be the real us when we are at some perfect weight or size…that when we get there we can be beautiful, be vibrant, sensual, and love our bodies.

But the truth is that we don’t need to lose a single pound to love our bodies…we can do that NOW. Self-love is not contingent on weight-loss and neither is beauty, vibrancy, or sensuality; they are enhanced by being the fullest expression of ourselves in the NOW and that includes how we adorn our body.

You might think that by punishing yourself in the area of clothing/adornment is going to motivate you and get you where you want to go, but in actuality this is just another way to create stress-chemistry in the body,which means you are creating the perfect inner chemistry for you to gain weight, lose muscle, decrease digestion, and lower calorie burning.

(The very opposite thing you are desiring to do.)

The same is true when we fear attention. It’s an important area to work on and explore if you want to change your internal chemistry so that it will allow your body to find Her happy, healthy weight and be all that She can be.

The more that you can be the real you now, love on your body, feel safe in your body, and feel free to express yourself through the senses (and that includes outward expressions like clothes), the more you will reach your greatest metabolic and potential.

Ready to create that for yourself this week?

Here are 3 foundational steps that will allow you to Dress to Express and Move Into Sensual Adornment:

Step 1- Examine your inner body beliefs in relation to clothing and adornment.

Look over some of the inner beliefs I shared above with you. Do any of those standout to you or feel true for you? If so, pinpoint them and take some time to journal about them. Explore how these beliefs have been keeping you small, hating on yourself, and in stress-chemistry.

Step 2- List your Sensual Style

Now take some time to think about your personal Sensual Style, meaning what style of clothing would delight your senses? What colors would you love to wear? What textures speak to you? What style of clothing and outward expression would excite you? What way of dressing feels like an energetic match for who you are now?

Step 3- Follow the 3x3x3 Rule

Now that you’ve got some clarity around your body beliefs in connection to clothing, it’s time to dig in your closet and create some movement here.

At the minimum, I want you to commit to the 3x3x3 Rule.

What exactly is that?

– Let go of at least 3 articles of clothing that no longer feel like a vibrational match for you, i.e. they don’t fit, are stained or torn, bring up negative feelings, are outdated. Feel free to let go of more than 3 but commit to at least 3 at the minimum. The hardest thing to give up here is most likely the pants/dresses you have been holding to that are too tight and want to get back into when you lose weight. If that’s the case for you, hear me on this…just.let.go. You can always buy new pants/dresses when/if you lose weight. Don’t let a stupid pair of pants torture you…you’ve got better things to do with your life energy!

– Find at least 3 articles of clothing that you own and LOVE but only wear on “special occasions”. Put them at the front of your closet. Wear at least one of them this week. Life is a special occasion. Live your life as such and dress accordingly.

– Reinvigorate your wardrobe with 3 new pieces of clothing. You don’t need to spend a lot of money here but commit to getting at least 3 pieces that:

1) fit you beautifully and compliment your shape. Like you put it on and you feel amazing. Don’t worry about the size on the label; focus on the cut, fit, and quality.

2) appeal to your senses and express your Authentic Sensuality (this means your essence!) Think back to the list you made in Step 2. It’s ok if it’s bold; if you usually wear black but secretly long to wear red or yellow, NOW is the time! This is a great way to dip your toe in the water of getting used to handling attention and being “seen” more. If we are used to hiding, it can take time to move into feeling comfortable being seen.

3) are items that you can turn to on the regular basis. A fantastic dress that you can wear on a last minute date or party and know you will feel and look great in. Jeans that feel so good and look so good you can wear them with almost everything. That kinda thing. You’ll be less likely to hide behind clothes that feel blah when you know you have some easy to incredible yet versatile pieces in your closet.

Eventually you will want to go beyond the 3x3x3 and get rid of all clothes that aren’t an energetic match and only hold onto clothes that feel like an expression of your Authentic Sensuality and appeal to your sensual self.

Well, you can save a couple of low vibrancy clothes for painting the house and such . ☺

By following these 3 steps, you will be well on your way to creating better body confidence and working through those body beliefs that have been keeping you small. You’ll see and feel your senses come alive, you’ll feel more confident and happy…which has a powerful effect on your body chemistry and allowing your metabolism to be the best it can be.

As my mentor Marc David always says, in order to have metabolic shift, we have to make an inner shift. Personal power = metabolic power, he always says.

Be the real you now; be the sensual, beautiful, vibrant creature you think you will be at some imaginary “perfect weight” NOW.

Heal and shape shift the body by loving the body as it is now.

Adorn yourself with clothing that makes you shine, that delight your heart and senses.

Your spirit will thank you!

There is no way around this…in order to have the body you want, you have to love the body that you have.

Now, I want to hear from you!

In the comments below, let me know any of the following:
-What inner beliefs do you think you may be holding on to?
-What is one piece of clothing that you are ready to release?
-What is one way of dressing that you can’t wait to try? Style? Color?

You can also share pictures of the items you are getting rid of, going to wear more of, or bought by tagging me on Instagram. My profile is AnitaAvalos7

I can’t wait to see and hear from you!

Next week, I’ll take some time to summarize what we’ve learned over the last 3 weeks and make sure you have a clear plan to keep these practices going long after these 21 days have passed.

With love,

Related posts:
– Can Cleaning Out Your Closet Teach You How to Release Weight Naturally?

– Week 2 of the 21-Day Sensual Reset™: Eat like a Queen: How to Eat for Nourishment and Pleasure